Palliative care - today

French

I'm back from Tunisia where I went to get his things. I hesitated a lot to go there but I needed to thank people there (the 2 caregivers but also the other residents spouses whos did so much). For once, it was a cery pleasant stay : golf, swimming pool, I even had a very nice sea bath. I was there only 3 days and went back sunday night.

 
Monday was the briefing with the geriatrist at the cognitivo-behavioral unity where my partner was now for 1 week. I was very confident : he will recover there because they care him very well.
So I was shocked to ear the geriatrist explaining me that she think he won't walk anymoe. He had absolutly no balance. She even spoke about palliative care. I was just shocked. 2 months ago, he was walking, speaking... but I couldnt believe it.

Monday evening he did a "status epilepticus " and they told me he could pass in the night. Tuesday, news where better. So I was shocked again when they called me yesterday to meet the palliative care team. He will be transfere to palliative care today and that he will soon be deeply and continuously sedated, according to his advance directives.

Sedation is better, the suffering I see in his eyes when he sees me is unbearable. I can't decide if it is better to be with him. He catches me tries to get up but his look is only suffering.

It is so sudden.

I know that some of you perfectly understand what I mean. It was good to express it to you, my special friends.

toolbeltexpert

French this is all so sudden,we never know the turns that come upon us so quickly. I am praying for you both.

M1

French I am so sorry, I don't think we are ever prepared for this day when it comes.  It sounds to me like he is in good hands, I would trust them.  This has been terrible for both of you.

Ed1937

French, this is so hard. I'm sorry.

Beachfan

French, I am so sorry to read of this latest development.  You have worked so long and so hard and have given so much of yourself in caring for your partner.  I agree with M1.  His condition sounds critical, but he seems to be in a good place now and all you can do is hope and pray for the strength to get through each day.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Jeff86

Such a rapid change in your dear partner’s condition, French—it must take your breath away.  Holding you and your partner in my thoughts as you face this heart-breaking development.

Hoot619

Praying for you and yours, I and all of us know what you are going thru. Changes in our loved one can happen so fast. Hopefully he will pass quickly. He is getting the care he asked for.

JoseyWales

French - I'm so sorry. My thoughts are with you. It's so sudden, and just not fair at such a young age.

My thoughts are with you.

Mint

French I am very sorry.

ImMaggieMae

French, I am so sorry. You’ve been through so much with him. Just when it seemed like things were going to make a turn for the better, this happens. I will keep you both in my prayers.

zauberflote

French, I am so sad with you. You have taken such good care of him. My mother's eyes used to show that suffering too, and it broke my heart. Perhaps it will be easier visiting him when he is resting quietly.

French

Thank you everybody m

Yesterday afternoon they began the deep and continuous sedation just after my visit. I couldn’t stay because it was too hard for me to see that, but I am relieved. He won’t suffer anymore. 

He could leave us very quickly because they stopped anti epilepsy meds as he was against therapeutic persistence. Everything was done according to his previous written wishes and the law. The doctors took the decisions, not me. It is better because I am protected from his family.

Joydean

French I am so sorry. You have been a warrior for your partner for a very long time. My prayers are with you and your family.

Lynne D

French, You and your partner are in my thoughts. I am so sorry for this sudden turn.

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ImMaggieMae

Quel un beau poème, Victoria!. Je vais le sauver.

French

Thank you Victoria and you have aimed right. He didn’t want to marry but I know he always loved me. We had a very good life together, short but happy. 

Yesterday he was sleeping. His breathing was a little difficult but regular. I will visit him everyday

toolbeltexpert

French I haven't been on here much lately, but you are in my prayers daily, and I will continue to pray for this time you are going thru now. You are a great caregiver and advocate for your partner.

Stewart

Jo C.

Dear French, it is with heavy heart that I read this sad news.   May his passing be one of peace and may you find serenity with the knowledge of how much you have cared and have gone to great lengths on his behalf to make his life as best as could be in the throes of significant challenge.

Sending warmest of thoughts your way,

J.

Buggsroo

French,

I am really sorry about how things have gone. It sounds like his well-being is being cared for and his suffering ended. It is tough all you have lived and how much love and care you have put into his caregiving. I wish you the best and hope with your family and friends that you can heal.

Iris L.

I am thinking of you and your DH, French.

Iris

Battlebuddy

   I’m so sorry French. It does seem like he has had a downturn. You have been a devoted and resourceful caregiver, always looking for places and situations that would give him comfort and support. 

    Palliative care sounds like the right path to go down now

   Keep us updated. We care about you and your husband.