Her Journey is over

Hoot619

I let my other fellowship know last night, it was hard but I had to do it. I let them know that I remained sober thru all of this. I also let them know that between them and this fellowship it made my journey with her easier.

   Yes it was very hard at times but I made it thru it without hurting Jan there was some screaming and hollering but no more than that.  . She couldn't help it, she had stuff she wanted to say at times but couldn't get it out.  I did my best and I guess I have to forgive my self when there were times that I wasn't proud of.

She's not hurting anymore and that is what counts. I know I am going to miss her more in the days to come.

Again I would like to thank everybody here for their help, you gave me courage when I needed it, also laughter when I needed it, when times were real bad I read the other posts of what people were going thru. I realized that things could be worse.  Hoot

Last Dance

 Hoot I would dare say there's not a person on this board that at one time or another did things or said things that they weren't proud of.                                                                                           Alzheimer's is a disease that not only affects our loved one’s minds, but it also affects ours in ways that people who never dealt with taking care of someone with Alzheimer's cannot imagine. You will have times of struggle in the days ahead, you will have regrets, you will say I should have done this, or I should have done that. When those thoughts come into your mind remind yourself that you did a very good job of loving her and taking care of her. Your love for Jan showed up in all your post. It’s hard to take care of somebody and protect them when they don't understand what you're trying to do and don't appreciate what you're trying to do. Do not give up, someday you and Jan we’ll be together again.  God’s Blessings to you and your family Richard

Ed1937

Hoot, it's a tremendous loss, and I'm sorry. The deep hurt will not stop for a while, but time will make it easier. That I can promise. Please don't look back and question yourself. You did everything you could do, and couldn't have been expected to do more. I don't think there is one of us who haven't done things we wish we didn't do. But we are all human. Wishing the best for you in the coming days.

Hoot619

In her obituary ,in lieu of flowers donations to Alzheimer's. Hell she didn't like flowers anyway the last one's I got her (to get out of doghouse) I ended up throwing out the front door.  Hoot

I can smile about that now and I used to remind her about that.  That was before I sobered up!!    I played that song " Honey" last night again, seems like it makes me  feel closer to her. I miss her so much

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billS

My condolences Hoot. Some wise person here said having a loved one with dementia was like being a widower without the closure. I hope the long process of closure can begin for you now.

Sligo177

I'm so sorry, Hoot.  I haven't got the right words, but am very sorry.  And, you were a wonderful husband to her.  Don't ever doubt that.

Hoot619

My daughter and son and wife are over with 1 Grandson the other has to work. Son's wife has dinner in oven. It nice having the house full of loved ones. My cousin and her husband stopped in yesterday and that helped also.

When it's just me I keep looking at her chair ever so often and she isn't there.  By the time this disease had run it's course my good feelings toward my wife were getting bad. I'm glad now the good loving feelings are here again, and the tears are really flowing. I found one of her good friends in the phone thing and called her. She and I were both in tears by the end of the call.

I owe a lot to the people on this discussion board, it kept me on the right path your prayers and concerns for us helped tremendously. Hoot

rlpete

Hoot, 

I'm so sorry. My wife and I frequently say "We are doing the best we can." to each other. I know that is what you did for your wife and that is all anyone can do. Don't doubt yourself. Take time now for yourself and spend time with family and friends.

Take care.