Struggling today(1)

Family is forever

Just felt I needed to express how I was feeling today. I am having a really hard go of it with trying to work fulltime and help my father take care of mom. I feel as though everywhere I look there is sadness and no one is getting 100% of my efforts. My mother's (my best friend) dementia diagnosis, having to put our dog of 17 years to sleep, my father's look of utter defeat when his wife of 54 years does not recognize him. I am typically the fixer and one who is strong for others and I am powerless against this awful disease. I just want to curl up in a ball and turn my brain off. 

Not looking for sympathy as I know we are all in the same boat, just had to get my feelings out before I burst. 

Martin Robbins

My care of my mom who passed on Monday was like an automatic thing.  I just swung into action for her two years ago, moving her in with me.

We need people around us, which I do not have.  Mom is gone, and I am here alone, far from any friends or family.

I hope you have people, and I wish you peace and endurance.

God bless you for your dedication to your parents.

Northeaster

Thanks for sharing. It's good to be able to just get it out and share your feelings with those who understand.  We understand. Take care of yourself as you care for others.

SusanB-dil

Hi Family is Forever - 

ugh, yes, some days are like that... ok, a lot of days are like that, and when they add up, you need a break.  Please make sure you take a break from 'this'!   Do you and dad have someone to come in for a maybe even a little while each week?  Even for a few hours can really help - get out and just do something else - a matinee, or shopping?  Would she be able to go to adult daycare a couple days a week?

sorry about loss of your dog, as they are family.

Glenda Vivian

I am struggling today.  My husband has early onset Alz.  We have an upcoming wedding to attend that is 2000 miles away.  Our daughters are extremely concerned that this trip, flying, staying in strange places, large gatherings of people and different routines will impact hubby negatively.  I really want to go and don't want to leave him behind.  Any thoughts?

Appy

Know that you are SO not alone! I've been involved in my Mom's care (she's 96) for the past six years and I have days like that. Especially now that she needs more hands on care since it takes two people to move her. She has five caregivers that make up 24/7 care but I live across the driveway from her so am very involved in all of it. I also oversee all of her things like grocery shopping, errand running, bill paying and on and on. She is now having hallucinations which makes it all that much harder. Sometimes I have a battle with myself...I 'should' go over to Mom's...but I don't want to I just want to stay in my house and shut it all out. It's a tough one.

Marp

I'm so sorry you're having a rough time.  I'm feeling a bit that way myself lately so I understand - sometimes it feels like it never ends that we're hamsters on a wheel going round and round and round.

Here's hoping you get a little break or a glimmer of hope here soon.