Traveling with Mom in early stages

darleneb

I'm so happy to have found this connected site.  My Mom was diagnosed in May of this year with ES.  It has been quite a struggle coping with and mentally preparing for this.  She lives with my sister and her family and my sister struggles with my mothers daily "forgetfulness".  My sister has to give my mom her meds daily as my mom does not remember if she took them or not.  I live about an hour and 15 mins away from them, but try to bring my mom to my house once a month to give my sister and her family some alone time, which they desperately need as my mom is fiercely independent and very set in her ways. Sorry for the long winded post, but needed to give a sort of background to what is happening with our family.  I try and help my sister with doctor appointments and insurance paperwork so she doesn't feel it's all on her shoulders to care for our mom.   My daughter and granddaughter live in NC.  My mom has not seen them in about 10 months.  She asked if she could go see them.  I said sure, but because of work, I cannot drive as I would need to take more time off of work.  So my mom does not like to fly, but agreed to fly down to visit since it is a short trip (only hour and half).  So I went ahead, took time off work, spoke with my daughter and she took time off work, booked flight and booked first row seats on the airplane so she would have more leg room.  Well, she called me last week to inform me that she is not going to go to NC because she is scared to fly.  She said she has been thinking about it constantly and said she was having panic attacks about going.  She said she spoke to her doctor about it (which she has not as my sister said she has not spoken to the doctor in quite some time).  I know I cannot force her to go, but I know she really did want to go. She has flown to FL to visit when they lived there, now this is closer, but she seems adamant about not going.  Has anyone had this issue about traveling?  Since she is ES I thought this could be the last trip.

[Deleted User]

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*Ollie*

Something very similar happened with my mom a few years ago.  She lives with my husband and I now but pre-Covid we had bought a ticket for her to fly across the country to visit us.  That's only important information because the tickets are not cheap  A week or so before the trip, she became so anxious and fearful about the flight and was perseverating on it that we decided to cancel it.  It wasn't worth putting her through it.   We didn't realize she had ES dementia at that time.

darleneb

Thank you for your input.  Yes, thankfully we have her legal documents in place. I was afraid that she may come unglued on the flight or as you stated, may not be able to get her back on the plane to come home.  Wow, this is hard......

ColoradoDaughter

New to the group. Dad passed in March of 2022 and Mom diagnosed with EO Dementia/Alz. Had to move her to independent living (with some support). Seeing new things happening as she struggles with loneliness after living with Dad for 60 years. She has started to hear things in the middle of the night, such as voices or believes there is a group of people congregating in her apartment. She will be traveling with us for a few days back to her home state to see my Dad's best friend and a cousin. Getting worried she will be getting up all night at the hotel thinking she's hearing the same thing. Praying the flight goes well. Any advice?

mommyandme (m&m)

Coloradodaughter, 

Welcome but sad you find a need to be here.  I’m sorry for the loss of your dad! Also for the unfortunate journey for you and your ma.  My advice so far is to start a new thread so you can be seen by many wise and supportive people.  Go to the front page of the Caregivers Forum and “Add Topic” (a green button) so all will see you.  Sometimes adding onto a thread already established can be missed. 

It sounds like you’re not traveling alone with her which is good.  I’d be prepared for her worst while traveling, it can be very difficult in new surroundings.  Let us know how things are going and thanks for sharing.