New behavior: bedwetting

JBC157

My husband is 84 years old. In June 2015 he suffered a thalamic stroke which left him physically with his motor skills intact but mentally with dementia. Up to this point he used the toilet successfully though his aim wasn’t very good.  

Unfortunately he has soaked his bed five times in the past week or so. He insists he was not responsible. This had to happen at a time when my dryer died and we were awaiting delivery of new washer/dryer. That was a disaster in itself.

Given his personality, I am quite uncertain how to broach the subject of incontinence underwear. Has anyone here dealt with a similar situation and how did you handle the discussion?

His dementia is such that he has no short term memory and could not possibly live independently because of the deficits suffered as a result of the stroke.

Thanking you in advance for your advice.

harshedbuzz

JBC-

I am sorry you are dealing with this.

One strategy a lot of people use to make the change to incontinence products, is to discretely swap out their regular underwear with the "fancier" more brief-like Depends without mentioning the reason why. 

When my aunt switched her sister over, she described them as "paper panties" to cut down on laundry. My aunt with dementia had a septic system and saw this as wonderful idea. Another person I know took it one step further and even replaced his undies initially so his wife wouldn't feel singled out. 

The laundry issue should improve, but it's unlikely to be 100% better. It's best to wrap your mattress and box spring in 6-sided waterproof protectors now. One hack is to make the bed twice, so that you have a dry set of linens under a waterproof protector should you be woken in the night. You can remove the top set to reveal the dry one and deal with the laundry in the morning. Another hack is to add an absorbent waterproof pad across fitted sheet to protect the sheets. 

HTH-

HB

jfkoc

and....protect the bed with a 6 sided, zip on waterproof cover.

sunnydove

Wow. It's like we are living parallel lives. My 87 yr old mom with Alzheimer's just started wetting the bed 2 weeks ago. Same week our 30 year old washing machine died. Of all the times! We had already been using pads day and night. But almost all at once she was no longer just leaking or not getting there in time, she was full on going to the bathroom in bed. Not only was it a bigger mess, it had a stronger odor than just the leaks. 

We already use a waterproof mattress cover under the sheets and on top of the sheets I have a 3 x 5 absorbent pad that stays put and doesn't move. It's a godsend because when she does wet, I don't have to change the entire bed. Just take the pad off and put a new one on. 

I had some adult diapers around for awhile and put them on her right after cleaning up one of the messes and she was just so happy to have something dry on, she didn't question it. Since then I just call them her nighttime underwear and she hasn't fought me over it. I put a pad inside for double protection and when she does completely empty her bladder in bed, it still gets beyond the diaper. Last few days I have set my alarm to go off every 90 minutes to get her up to pee. And while I'm exhausted beyond belief, we haven't had a big bed wetting episode. 

One other thing to consider is after 2 days of her having bed wetting episodes where I would put her in dry clothes after... she got a rash on her thighs between her legs. Just that little bit of time of her being asleep wet irritated her skin. So now I not only get her dry, I make sure she's clean (use baby wipes) and then put a antifungal powder made for this purpose between her legs. It feels nice going on so she doesn't mind it and no more rashes. 

Good luck with everything. It's so hard to navigate all this and even worse when life throws an extra monkey wrench in there with the broken washer/dryer. I was able to find a free one and installed it myself (actually found 2 - first one worked but didn't get anything clean... no wonder they were getting rid of it! Second one is the washing machine of my dreams and I am so grateful for the people who let me have it!) but during the time I had no machine and was doing it all by hand it was so much added stress I almost broke. 

Martin Robbins

I echo and emphasize Sunny's adice: keep her skin clean and conditioned.

When my mom with ALZ would occasionally slide down her pull-ups and pee on the floor, I made sure to use pre-moistened wipes to clean her legs all up and down, and all over her feet.  A few times I just put her in the shower with a spray wand.  I had two or three types of conditioners to use on her skin.  CeraVe was the one I used the most.

Sometimes, after getting her all cleaned-up and into a fresh gown, as we left the bathroom she would turn and give me a kiss,

JBC157

Thank you for the very helpful suggestions. I’ve already implemented some and will be following up on others.