I don't know how to communicate with my LO

lizzyt

Hello.  I'm new here and first time posting. My mother is 82 and was fine until 2 months ago. After having cataract surgery everything has gone down hill. Her thinking has become very paranoid and confused.  She either doesn't talk or she constantly repeats her distorted thoughts. Her Dr ordered MRI and blood work which were normal. Memory test showed mild deficits. I get very frustrated with her. There are no conversations anymore. I've tried getting her to do things to distract her or trying to talk about other things but it doesn't work. It doesn't help that she still doesn't have her glasses after the cataract surgery so she can't see to read anything. She called 911 yesterday and they took her to the ER. Everything was normal. Now she is upset because she did that. If anyone has experience with symptoms coming on so rapidly or with suggestions on how to communicate better I would be grateful for any input.

sandwichone123

Hi lizzyt, often when older people have medical issues like surgery, they develop a short-term dementia symptoms called delirium. This can be very confusing and stressful to families who fear that it represents a long-term change in condition. Don't make any long-term decisions about your mom until a few weeks after she has her new glasses.

It's hard not to get frustrated, but I do recommend trying. One thing I do is try to ask myself, "if my loved one had a medical condition like appendicitis would I have this response?" If my loved one had appendicitis I would expect them to complain about pain and be hard to deal with. In you mom's case we can expect her to be confused, and upset by both her confusion and the visual changes that make life more difficult.

Is she seeking out conversation? She may want to connect, but lots of times when people are feeling bad they just want to be left alone. Going back to appendicitis, if I were hurting, I'd want to be left alone. Try to support her as best you can, without expecting anything in return for a while. Hopefully this is an acute episode that will resolve in a few weeks.

May flowers

When my FIL had surgery in January, he was very out of it for a long time (months). He eventually found his new normal, which was a decline from pre-surgery but much better than in the months following.

Always keep an eye out for a UTI, that can really throw them for a loop too.

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