Sleeping During the Day

Karl38

My wife has AD and we are about 4 years into it.  She has been diagnosed and has many of the common symptoms.  She gets 8-9 hours of sleep a night but also takes naps during the day.  She is 82 years old. 

Part of the reason is she has nothing she wants to do and is bored.  Should I be trying to find things for her to do or just let her sleep during the day?  I'm not sure what would be best for her.  Any advice is appreciated.

Ed1937

Hi Karl. You could suggest things she might be interested in, but if she would rather sleep, that wouldn't be a fight you want to pursue. If she does get interested in something, that's great. Just pick your battles wisely.

Joydean

Karl I agree with everything Ed just said. If there’s anything she would like to do let her do, offer to help her or do something together. If not, let her sleep. My dh now sleep’s about 12 to 13 hours at night and has started taking 2 to 3 hour naps. He says he wants to work in the yard, but never gets around to it. He will watch me work and seems satisfied and feel as though he’s been working. That’s okay too. All you can do is try. As Ed said pick your battles carefully. We learn as we go down this road. Wishing you all the best.

Jeff86

What you are describing, Karl, is normal AD progression.   Apathy is part of the deal.  It’s been years since my DW could verbalize anything she would like to do.  It’s hard to be a full time activities director.

Sleeping more is also part of the deal.  My DW routinely sleeps 12-14 hours overnight.  Depending on what meds your DW takes, daytime naps may be a side effect.

MaryG123

I asked that question too, when my DH started sleeping 18/24 hrs. per day.  These wise forum members advised me to let him sleep.  One explanation I remember is that it takes an enormous amount of energy for those with dementia just to get through the day, and that makes sense to me.  We stopped trying to keep him to a sleep routine and I let him sleep whenever he wants to.  Our home is more peaceful  and he feels better.  One less bone of contention.

Berryette

My husband sleeps most of the day.  Getting up for a snack and then heading back to bed.  He does get up a couple times each night and watches tv.  I used to get up with him, but was quickly wearing myself out.  So now I make sure he has settled in front of the tv and go back to sleep.  I spent several months feeling quilty about him not wanting to stay awake and be involved with anything.  But this forum helped me see that I just need to relax, so to speak, and let DH do what he wants to do.  I think he feels more confortable sleeping during the day when I am up and about and think it comes from a time when he was in hospital and his throat swelled shut around his NG tube.  After that I would sit by the bedside awake while he slept.  That gave him confidence that all was ok.  Maybe other spouses feel the same- that we are awake watching over them and its ok for them to relax, let go and take a break from the awful confusion they live in?  Joydean- I had not thought of it that way until you said your DH watches you work and feels as if he worked as well.  My DH will watch me mow, etc and then later in the day talks as if he is exhausted from working outside.  Thank you for mentioning that.  Something just clicked reading that!!

Joydean

Berryette, it’s nice to know someone else’s dh does the same. I do all the mowing,some with push mower and some on riding mower. Weed watching ect. Some times when I take a break and sit on porch with him I will get something cold to drink and ask him if he wants a drink too. He will reply yes I’m really thirsty from working! But that’s okay too. I believe in his mind he thinks he has been working.

bobbyb

Reading everyone's comments has been so helpful! My DH sleeps about 14 hours a night, sometimes more, and I've been challenging him about it. He's lost interest in most things he used to care about, such as chores and working on his land, etc. and as a result it appears he would rather soothe himself with sleep.  I appreciate the empathetic response advised by many of you: just let him sleep. Thank you.