Resentment(4)

Kay82

I moved in with my mother April 1st & continued to work until she went into the hospital for a UTI. I went on FMLA leave for 12 weeks starting the day she came home from the hospital.  The 12 wks quickly flew by & my mother's dr. said she should not be alone, I have since lost my job since I was unable to return. My sister wanted her daughter to help but that didn't work out as it was poorly planned.  My 2 brothers are working full time & have 4 children between the 2 of them, they help as much as they can.  My sister, who has been retired for the last 10 yrs, does not want to commit to helping. My youngest brother had set up all my mother's bills to be paid automatically after my father died 1/20/19 of alzheimers.  When I started being w/my mother full time & receiving pay as per her DPOA, my brother decided he wanted to pull all my mother's bank records for the past 5 yrs . To our horror he discovered my sister had transferred a total of $20,000 to her bank accts & cannot account for approximately. $25,000 more. Needless to say she is no longer DPOA.In looking over the past year or so & thinking about trips my sister has taken, cars she has bought for her granddaughter that explains some of the money.  I am so angry & resentful now. I am thankful that my relationship w/my mother is good, it will be so heartbreaking to watch as she declines like my father did.

notjolly

I'm crying for you as I read this. Every story in here is heart breaking and sad.

harshedbuzz

This could be a dire situation.

Your sibs needs to have a conversation about how to proceed around this. What your sister did was financial abuse of the elderly-- not only is this a crime, it could potentially jeopardize your mom qualifying for Medicaid should you be unable to provide care as her needs escalate or should you have a heath issue that precludes you doing 24/7 hands on care solo.

Misuse of funds in the Five-Year-Lookback could keep her from qualifying for Medicaid.

In your shoes, I would consult an elder law attorney and turn the case over to the Area Agency on Aging or local DA for prosecution. 

HB

Kay82

My brother has contacted an attorney.  At this point my brother is in complete control of all finances.