I have a question about pay

sweepmore

My mom who has Alzheimer's lives with me.  She has for the past 4 years.  I was wondering about pay for DPOA, electricity (I do so much more washing now), gas, groceries etc.  My mom could afford to pay me, but I don't want to take it if it's not allowed.  My husband does not think that its fair to him to keep paying all the bills in our home without help.  I don't want to go through Medicare to file for it.  Just wondering.

M1

Medicare wouldn't cover it regardless, sweepmore.  Some state Medicaid programs have "waiver services" that allow consumer-directed care for PWD to remain in their homes, but these are estate recovery programs and vary state to state.  You might check with you local Council on Aging to see if there are any other local programs available.  But you have to be very careful with money, obviously, especially with reimbursing yourself.  May need an attorney's advice.

Kay82

Be very careful about this issue w/pay. My mother's DPOA states her caregiver can be paid & w/a Care Contract. This covers the caregiver in the event that mom goes in a care facility & for whatever reason Medicaid becomes involved. They check all a patient's financials & if they see $$$ was given to an individual for no clear reason it will be considered a gift & count against mom & caregiver(attorney's words).

harshedbuzz

sweepmore-

I would consult a CELA in your state to ask about a way for your mom to legitimately pay some portion of her room & board- utilities, groceries, etc. I know formulas exist for parents of disabled adult children who live "at home" past age 18; I would assume there is a formula for a situation like this as well. 

Medicare does not cover these sorts of custodial expenses. 

HB

LicketyGlitz

The advice to consult an elder law attorney is spot on, sweep. I did pay my sister and I (I was DPOA for my mom) out of my mother's estate because she could afford it and we could not afford to go five years without a paycheck. Her attorney helped us do it correctly and advise on amount paid. It was never the full hours, we would have bankrupted Mom! But my sister and I decided on a decent hourly wage, and agreed on the amount of hours we would get paid for to take care of our own financial future and ensuring Mom's was not jeopardize for the length of her remaining life.

I also second the suggestion to check your state or local department of aging as some states do have programs to pay family caregivers to keep people in their homes as long as possible.

Good luck!

Martin Robbins

I had our attorney make a caregiver's agreement between me and my mom while she could still agree to and sign it.  An Internet search revealed the going rate is over $4,000 a month.  My mother could not afford that for long, but the payments worked to move her savings into my account.  I never cared about the money running out, which it did fairly quickly.  I only needed some help paying for incidentals while we lived together and I care for her.

My three siblings went berserk!

My sister turned me in to Adult Protective Services for elder abuse and taking all of our mother's money.  One of the investigators asked me what would happen when the money runs out.  I said, "Nothing.  She would still stay with me and I would care for her."  The report said, "There was nothing there."  Meaning the charge was completely unfounded.