My father is burnt out

RacerX20

My grandma was diagnosed with ALZ several years ago.  Since then, she has lived in several minimal care facilities.  Mainly they provided meals and housekeeping duties, but no actual health care or medication help.  Since she moved into these facilities from her home, my father has taken it upon himself to be there for her on a very near daily basis.  This has been ongoing now for several years and he is wearing down and just not himself anymore.  He retired at about the same time as my grandma's diagnosis.  He had planned to do things his his grandkids, do activities that interest him and just enjoy life.  But it has developed into full time job for him.  My grandma recently started receiving more care from the facility she lives in and they are also now doing her meds.  However, my dad still goes there twice a day, for hours at a time.  His health is now starting to suffer.  My mom recently retired as well and she had hopes of spending more time with my dad, but he insists on going out there everyday, 7 days a week.  My grandpa doesn't provide the companionship that he should.  He doesn't visit her very often, maybe once or twice over a 2 week period.  I'm sure it's because he assumes my dad is handling everything.  My dad also has a brother in town that could help out or visit more often, but he still works full time and has social engagements that he goes to.  My wife and I visit when we can but with two kids, both in school and activities, our time is limited.  We as a family need to almost have an intervention with my dad about cutting back on his time out there and getting back to spending time with my mom and grandkids.  I don't know if he would get mad or angry at us for bringing up the subject.  The first step is always the hardest and we just need to find out what a good strategy would be to bring this up.  Thanks.

jfkoc

This may be an oversimplefication but how about just invting him and your other  to meals and activities. You could also put in place a set time when you will visit your grandmother so that your father could skip that visit.