Identification Docs for Late Stage Dementia/Alz

DearLiz2020

     Hi!  I'm hoping you can give me some good advice.  My mom has advanced / late stage dementia / Alz, and, takes her purse everywhere (even in the house, to each room).     At what stage do you take government IDs / credit cards out of wallet - and - what do you put in it's place?  God forbid mom roams/gets lost, I'd like her to have some ID on her, just don't want it to be her official state issued ID, or, worse, a CCs stolen.  Perhaps I make copies of ID and laminate - put that in her purse along with a Dementia ID card with my phone on it.

Thoughts?

Thanks.

sunnydove

My mom used to do this and I had the same concern. Fortunately she had some old IDs, library cards and store membership cards I could stuff her wallet with while keeping her current and working ones in a safe place. If you don't have old ones, you can photocopy what she has and "laminate" it with clear packing tape to replace in her wallet. Will she notice if you take away her credit card? Does she ever actually go through her wallet? Maybe you could use one of those faux credit cards you get when companies send a new CC offer. Or if you are in a store, many wallets come with a pretend credit card in them to demonstrate where cards go. I'm sure a clerk wouldn't mind letting you have the insert as it's a throwaway piece anyhow. 

My mom also had a habit of hiding her purse for safety but then we'd have to hunt for it. I solved that by putting a little remote locater I got for cheap on Amazon. Attach one part to the inside pocket of her purse and when we couldn't locate it just push the button and listen. Sometimes would have to walk around every room of the house but eventually would hear the beep. 

Good luck! 

MN Chickadee

At the point where she is likely to lose the purse or any of its contents it's time to remove the stuff you care about. I had my family collect those little credit card shaped cards you get in the mail as advertisements (from like Triple A and cable TV etc) to use as filler in mom's wallet. If your mother is likely to get upset about not having credit cards you can request new ones from the company with new numbers and leave the dummy ones in her wallet. You could certainly put other documents in her purse as identifying information in case she were to wander. A photo copy laminated is a great idea for the ID to preserve the real one in a safe place. Many people find their LO won't wear an ID bracelet, they either refuse or fiddle with it util it comes off. You may have better luck with a GPS tracker on her shoes or in her purse as a precaution while you figure out how to keep her supervised 24/7.

BassetHoundAnn

Hi, Liz, I removed my mom's driver's license, insurance cards and Social Security card from her wallet when it was clear my mom was suffering from dementia. She was carrying her purse everywhere and often hiding it or abandoning it. I worried about identity theft if someone should pick up her purse. Even an insurance card can be used in identify theft with a thief making use of someone else's insurance, and that's a huge mess for the family, for anyone to straighten out. 

Equally worrisome, at the time she was threatening to walk to her bank and withdraw all her money. Her sister, who had Alz, actually tried to do that, leaving assisted living and walking miles along a busy highway to get to her bank. The bank called her children fortunately. But my mom's bank said that so long as she showed up at a branch with any picture I.D. she could empty her accounts and they wouldn't call me, even though my name is on her accounts. So I removed all picture I.D.'s from her purse including her driver's license. 

When she protested that her driver's license was gone, even though she hadn't driven in years, I went to one of those web sites that let you create cheap I.D.'s and for a few bucks created an official-looking "State Special Senior I.D." I gave it flags and stars and holograms, and included contact info for myself and my husband. Plus contact info for her primary-care physician just in case. "Look mom! It's a State Special Senior I.D.! This is even better than a driver's license because it has my name on it too!" She was very excited about that, put it in her wallet and never asked about the driver's license or other missing I.D.s again. She's been carrying it around in her purse for several years now. 

harshedbuzz

We had to do this with dad in the middle stages. He became something of a hunter gatherer and hid things he sensed were valuable. When I found the contents of his wallet, I did not return them to him. I made copies and had Staples laminate them and returned those to the wallet with some old grocery store loyalty cards.

For ID, nothing beats a Medic Alert bracelet listing your contact information. First responders would look for that over other ID. And if she was out and about, she might lose her bag or have it stolen. If elopement is a risk, you need to take steps to prevent that and consider something like an Air Tag to track her movements. 

If you are mom's sole caregiver, you should be wearing a Medic Alert device as well that explains that you are a caregiver to someone with dementia in case something happens to you.

HB

DearLiz2020

Thank you so much!  No, thankfully she NEVER goes through her wallet.  I'm so thankful you responded to me.  I will be working on this project this weekend (photo copying official ID, laminating, keeping in safe place).  And I love the idea about remote finders from Amazon.  TY!

DearLiz2020

Thank you.

DearLiz2020

Thanks - I'm not primary, but, secondary.  I will look for these IDs.  Thank you!

dancsfo

The original post mentioned "Dementia ID card" with the caregiver's phone # on it. For example, I have seen this on from the Canadian Alzheimer's society. It says: "I have memory problems, please contact XYZ"

https://alzheimer.ca/en/about-dementia/other-types-dementia/young-onset-dementia/id-cards

These would help if the person wanders and let's say, an emergency responder or a policeman opens the wallet and reads it.

But what if the PWD is still able to speak clearly, the person helping does not ask to see an ID card, and PWD says something like "I'm lost but please take me to this address" but that is a wrong or prior address, and gets driven to someplace far away.

Of course, there are things like trackers and bracelets, but a very prominent card or sign worn outside the clothing (maybe a sign on a loop around the neck) be more helpful before a big search get started? I realize there may be an issue of embarrassment or annoyance if the PWD reads the card.

I'm wondering what would be helpful if the caretaker falls asleep for a few minutes and the PWD wanders into the neighborhood. Ideally, of course, there would be someone looking after a PWD constantly, or all the neighbors are aware, but that may not occur.

Some people pin notes on children's clothing, so I wondered: "Why not for a PWD?" There's a chance that a person an get taken advantage of, if the information is prominently displayed.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

dancsfo

Thanks @Victoria2020 Alarms are a good idea, and I found some resources to read.