Looking at the bigger picture

oehlsena

Hello. There was a topic posted recently about some conflicting feelings regarding the death of their LO with ALZ that really sparked off some thoughts for me. 

I was thinking that the reason that we have so much trouble emotionally dealing with ALZ is not always because our LOs are confused/upset with their situation(see anagnosia) but because we are dealing with something so unexpected and unfamiliar. We just don't know how to respond to the situation. That is why resources such as this forum are so helpful. 

I keep seeing a tendency (in myself) to look at caregiving for someone with advanced ALZ in black and white instead of the bigger picture. For example, feeling guilty about hoping that they will pass away. To me it seems that the root of feeling that way is not being comfortable with the amount of responsibility that I have for my LO- having their life in my hands. I think that assuming the "guardianship" role smoothly is so important because we can start to see their life as a journey in which we have an authoritative role, instead of their life being an out of control roller coaster that we are partially trying to avoid and partially trying to guide back onto the tracks. 

Another example is that I have focused so hard on having patience with my LO. . . But it's no use to strive for patience with her without including the virtue of love and the virtue of gentleness.

Peace and love.