Dinner Guests

Annen1014

Before COVID my husband and I had frequent dinner parties, small ones  2-4 guests. We both really enjoyed it. I think the socializing would still be good for my HWD. In the past, we used the dinner parties to welcome new neighbors and new people in our religious community. We are wanting to start inviting guests once again. My husband's dementia is still mild.  Does anyone have advice about whether I should concentrate on inviting people whom my husband already knows well, or whether it is still fine to be introducing new people to him.

I appreciate your advice.

Jo C.

You will know your dear husband best and will probably know his tolerance.  It is still a situtation where much upheaval with a lot of noise and activity can be disturbing as it can be difficult to process and tolerate too much stimulation going on all at once as in large crowds, so the first time out, I would do a small group of two to four with people he knows and keep it simple.

I would do this at the time of day he has most energy, prepare well in advance so you do not have to be running hither and thither in the house after company arrives, and would keep the TV off and if music is present, I would keep it very low in the background if he tolerates it.  He may actually enjoy the occasion, and if the company is aware of his early diagnosis and how he processes things and is alright as in his most usual self if that is true , then it will be easy for one and all. 

You could also fix a quiet place for him in another room if he tires out or feels uncomfortable after awhile. Perhaps a spare bedroom with an easy chair, especially if it has a TV in it for his comfort. He may not need that whatsoever, but it is nice to have an option just in case.

After the first time out, then you can more easily gauge how he would be with other guests, especially those he does not know.  I send best wishes for a successful time and hope all goes well.  Let us know; I will be thinking of you.

J.

Annen1014

Thank you. .

KathyF1

I too love having people in, but it’s been awkward with my DH unless we know them well. I invited neighbors we barely know for dinner once, they knew of his Alzheimer’s but I think it was hard for them to feel comfortable. I’ve since decided to stick with close friends.

CD5

This is just a matter of what you are both comfortable with.  My husband is also early in his Alz journey and I find he is fine with people he knows already.  With people we don’t know that well, i am the one that gets uncomfortable on how he will be, so I over worry; will he repeat himself too much? … get to confused over something said? …. I don’t like announcing to people we barely know that he has A. So my personal preference is to keep it simple, with people we know and let him reminisce.  It’s actually quite enjoyable for him this way.

Annen1014

Thank you

Annen1014

Good perspective. Thanks

Stuck in the middle

We used to socialize with another couple who were dealing with dementia.  It worked well, until his condition worsened and he had to go to a NH.  We still lunch with his widow from time to time, but her BF doesn't join us (his choice).

Annen1014

ThNks. As his condition worsens, we can change tactics.