Refusal to shower and bedtime pressure

JustJo79

Hello,

New to the message board and the org. My 88 y.o. mom has Alzheimers and my dad and I care for her at home. She has zero short term memory, but still physically capable and dresses, takes meds, articulate if engaged (but not initiating conversation much) and can operate TV...the BEST at wheel of fortune, etc. 

Looking for advice on two issues:

1.  She is refusing to shower. It usually takes a quiet argument and she is disgruntled until she forgets, or she just returns to bed and pulls the covers up. We are getting one shower in every other week at most and I know this isn't healthy.

2.  She is insisting that my dad go to bed with her, which is new. He needs the evening hours alone to watch TV he enjoys and unwind from meeting her needs all day. He's 90 y.o. and doing well.

Any thoughts or ideas welcomed.

JJAz

Welcome.  Unfortunately, both of these are common problems.  For showering, try to get her to shower first thing in the morning before dressing.  Have her agree to shower "tomorrow" and write it on a calendar, then show it to her the next day.  If you continue to get resistance, ask your doctor to order a shower aide through home health care.  We had good success with one.

As far as going to bed together (very early) we had that too.  I went to bed with DH at 6:30 and sometimes read a kindle.  Other times I listened to podcasts on headset.  Once DH fell asleep, I got out of bed.