Arguing with the condition not my LO

dwadd333

Dad's insistent of getting a new flip phone NOW. It's been ordered but he'll have to wait a couple of business days for it to arrive at my residence then helping him transfer the number and contacts from his smart phone. Sounds easy right? The father I used to know and conversate well with before all this started wasn't hearing about why the phone isn't coming NOW/TODAY and he'll go and get 10 new flip phones cause everyone else around him is sick and he's the only one who's well. I told his condition that he's getting 1 phone for himself end of discussion. I would've never talked to him before in the past but a good chunk of his cognitive abilities have been compromised. Do you find yourselves arguing at the condition rather than with the LO?

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LicketyGlitz

Hey dwadd, have you tried redirecting his demands with questions? Something like, "What are you gonna do first with your new phone? Whose your first phone call? What's gonna be the coolest thing about the new phone?" I dunno you or your dad, but just anything to move him off the idea that it's not here RIGHT NOW but what he's excited about doing when it is.

I gotta go with Victoria's advice too, arguing with my mom just led to more frustration for us both!

dwadd333

While I've been getting better at diverting the focus on to other subjects, something in me kicked into overdrive -- plus getting over a stubborn seasonal cold -- and I wasn't going to give in to the condition. Therefore, I shot back at my dad about only getting one phone and case closed. I think he wasn't expecting my usual reactions of agreeing or diverting and we ended the call. It's not a victory. Before all this, it was easier to reason with him even when he wanted things his way. Now I'm dealing with a paranoid and very confused senior citizen who isn't the chill dude I used to know. He even had the nurses station call me regarding the phone situation. He's already made his smart phone inoperable and it's basically useless. I don't even know who this man is. I don't want to be around him. I've already taken steps to protect his phone before it arrives and set up for him. I learned a lesson about myself about what I'm willing to accept and put up with. I love my father very much but I'm not liking his new personality. At all.

LicketyGlitz wrote:

Hey dwadd, have you tried redirecting his demands with questions? Something like, "What are you gonna do first with your new phone? Whose your first phone call? What's gonna be the coolest thing about the new phone?" I dunno you or your dad, but just anything to move him off the idea that it's not here RIGHT NOW but what he's excited about doing when it is.

I gotta go with Victoria's advice too, arguing with my mom just led to more frustration for us both!

Feeling alone51

My husband is most confused in the morning’s. Will wake me because he can’t find his work clothes. He hasn’t worked in almost 3 years now. He is only 47 and I find myself frustrated trying to convince him every morning that we can’t visit my mother because she passed away 5 years ago. He talks to her, at first I thought it was in his dreams or the cardinal outside. But, he physically sees and talks to her now.

DK216

Thanks for posting.  I also joined today searching for like minds who are struggling to help their loved ones with this awful disease. 

I found myself losing my temper today with my Mom. I know she can't help it. She keeps hiding her pills, thinking my Dad is trying to poison her. I don't live with them full time but live close by and go up a few times a week to check on them both. I fill up her pills weekly and check that she takes them but have to search the house each time lately because of the paranoia.

Luv2travel

Yes definitely.  The Alzheimer’s has taken my mom away from us.  I have to keep reminding myself this is not her, it’s the disease.