Trying to figure out how to live until my DH dies

riajean

  Yes, terrible, but true.  My IBS is over the top lately due to my husband's catching Covid, then falling, ending up in the ER who said he cannot return to memory care as he can no longer walk, then post covid pneumonia, then trying to find a skilled nursing place for him and no one, no one within 75 miles of the hospital with a bed, then finally one opens across from the hospital.  He's combative, so the staff is not able to work with him enough to ensure he'll walk again.  He's better, but wheelchair bound.  Can't communicate.  Has to be fed  mostly.  I know with all certainty he's in the last stage of this horrible disease.  Drive over an hour to see him; have to keep working; pretending I'm Ok but I'm not.  My body knows it and nothing seems to help me calm anymore.

Honestly, what a way to live!

Ed1937

I'm sorry it's so hard, Maybe you should talk to your doctor. Medication might help. Or get with a counselor?

MaryG123

Oh Riajean, I’m so sorry.  You are grieving and exhausted.  Hugs to you. (())

Quilting brings calm

I know you need to work and you want/need to visit your spouse on a regular  basis.  Put everything else  you can to the side.  Don’t do any housework or home maintenance that can be put off. Don’t cook or grocery shop if you can eat out or pick up and take home.  Order what you do need from the grocery store online and pick it up or have it delivered.  Try to only visit  your spouse every second or third day.  The other nights- do only what you have to.  Or something that you want to (like reading).   Go to bed extremely early and watch tv or read in bed.  Limit answering phone calls if you want.  

This is a marathon and you need to preserve your mental, emotional and physical strength as best you can.  The house will still be standing when you are ready to dust and vacuum. 

toolbeltexpert

Riajean. Even without ibs I was so tore up, but you have to learn to take care of you,even little things like quilting said really help, I had to let the grass grow,I went to bed while the sun was still up,stress adds up so weigh in on the other side to counter it. You will feel better, yes we still worry and try to do for our lo, but doing for you helps you do for them.