Husband sent from memory care to psyc hospital

Bundy

My husband has been in memory care for about 3 months and because he is combative when they try to change his clothes and get him to shower they called me this week and said they were sending him to a hospital 25 miles away to try to find the right meds to control him.  They said it would take about 2 weeks and they would try to keep a bed for him if they can get him under control. Just wondering if others here have dealt with this and your thoughts.

riajean

Oh Bundy, I'm so sorry.  To me this is a memory care cop out.  Being combative, showing "behaviors" is part of dementia.  Went though that too where I was told he was sent to the ER (of all places) and since the ER didn't find anything technically wrong with him like an infection that may have caused his behaviors, they wanted to send him back to MC only to have that refused.  I went nuts calling every other place I had visited prior to placing him; called doctors and more and went crazy with no good answers, only that there are psyche units, but he's not "crazy", he's sick.  There's a PA on staff too pouring out meds at the MC facility the same as "every facility", without much thought behind what was being given and possible reactions.

In my humble opinion. a psyche unit will not help your poor husband.  TRAINED staff will help.  Trained staff who understand combative behavior is a way your poor husband is showing fear and trying to communicate.  On the one hand MC staff says, "we understand behavior is part of the disease" and on the other one, sending him out (you should have been called for your input and agreement to this first by the way) for someone else to care for him. 

My final call was to a gerontologist who intervened and got MC to take my DH back and speak to the staff about what THEY might have been doing/not doing.  Turns out, the staff were waking my poor DH all night long to pee and he was so exhausted, he went ballistic.  ONE night left alone with the help of Trazodone and he was a changed man, his "usual" self.  Shocking.  Call them and insist on some REAL help and an MD to review him.  If your MC isn't qualified to dispense calming meds or they don't have anyone on staff to help in these times, get him to another place that does.  Three months is too short a time to be trying to send him off.  I'm SO SO sorry.

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JoseyWales

Hi Bundy,

My husband was sent to a psych hospital about 2 months after going into his memory care, for aggression. He spent 10 days, and they really didn't change all that much with his medication, but things did improve a bit. The hospital he was sent to had a wing just for dementia patients. 

The memory care kept his room, and planned to have him come back. That was the first thing I asked. I also got the feeling that it wasn't unusual for them to send residents to psych hospitals like this. The thing I was most upset about was how FAST they wanted it done. As in, called me in the late morning, wanted him transferred that afternoon. It ended up being the next day.

I sometimes go to a support group in real life. Several of the other members had their spouses go to a psych hospital after placement in a memory care. Some had to go as far as 2 hours away. 

Not all behaviors can be controlled by a caring staff. I know my DH had out of control behaviors when he was just one on one with me. I WANTED him to go to a psych hospital before placement to get help for his behaviors, but no one would listen to me.