Scared to eat

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

I tried looking through the search but I kept getting results of caregivers being scared of how their LOs are or aren't eating, instead of the PWD themselves being scared.

Last week mom threw up a couple of times, not sure what days but they were all in the evening, between 60 to 180 minutes after eating. Twice were after she had been clearing her throat for a couple of minutes.

Mom told me earlier this morning that she was afraid to eat because she didn't want to throw up again. At dinner time we sat down to eat and right away she started crying. Not sure if that was because I put food on her plate or because dad said something careless to her just moments before. (He was unintentionally patronizing her while trying to convince her to eat). I tried to put a little of everything on her plate so she could have what she wanted; this wasn't any different than how we typically do things.

Wednesday mom is seeing her PCP. Not sure what is going to happen then but I'm waiting to see what the doctor says and then calling on hospice to see if they can help mom if doctor doesn't. She's lost a lot of weight.

mommyandme (m&m)

Glad you’re getting her into the doctor.  If she’s not hungry or too scared to eat maybe she shouldn’t?  Her body may be running this show.

MaryG123

It may be a swallowing problem, poor sweetie.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

I do think she's hungry. At least I can hear her stomach growling from time to time and she does start eating things but suddenly stops after the first bite or two. It's puzzling since she still acts excited when we offer her her favorite food and treats but then we give it to her and she says "oh, no thank you." 

Over the past few months she has also said things like she doesn't want to be eating someone else's food or that she doesn't have any money to pay for the food even though we gently tell her it's hers or that it's free/already bought. 

I'm concerned that she's not eating but I'm not overly bothered by it. However it's having a huge effect on dad, he mostly sits in the corner having his own pity party. He's allowed to grieve however he wants but I highly think this way is, what's the word? Unhelpful? Not productive? Definitely unhealthy.

He also keeps pushing lots of different foods in front of her without telling/asking her about it beforehand and I personally don't think he waits long enough for her to react to it before he just yanks it way. That definitely cannot be good either.

I'm just hoping we can figure out if this is just the disease or if she's got some other illness going on that's causing this. This will be the second doctor trip in regards to her not eating 

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Thanks MaryG. I've been wondering if that may be happening sometime soon. She does have trouble with swallowing pills, gets stuck on her tongue. She doesn't have trouble with water/liquid though.

I'm assuming hospice would maybe include swallowing tests or something for their evaluation. Not that anyone who has trouble swallowing is terminal, just that it's a big change in dietary habits.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Mom asked OS for some fries so I went to Arby's and got her favorite curly fries. Hand feeding her some and then waiting a little, then offering more. She's had three so far and was super excited to see them.

mommyandme (m&m)

That’s good news!  Thanks for this update.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Mom lost about four to six pounds in two weeks.

I think the doctor visit went well. The doc decided to change a bunch of meds, OS is going to write out all the changes for me later. There's a new drug (to us) in the mix that is an antidepressant that both makes you drowsy and stimulates hunger, don't recall it's name. I honestly have no idea if making her hungry is cruel to do when she's not eating since we don't know exactly why she's refusing food. If she's hungry and refusing food, making her MORE hungry seems like a bad idea.

Doctors are thinking she has gastritis, I think that's the word. They think the antibiotic she had two months ago is causing her bloating and discomfort. The  doctor she saw a while ago said something similar but prescribed her like 5 pills despite us saying she's refusing her pills.

I have no idea if the doctors are going on a wild goose chase thinking of only "healthy" people not eating and not instead of "dementia induced" not eating.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

I think the doctor is finally stopping the donepezil

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Iris L.

How are her bowels?  Sluggishness can decrease the appetite.  Is she on a soft diet? How are her teeth and gums?

Iris

​fesk

The med that makes you sleepy and increases hunger might be Remeron (Mirtazapine).

Quilting brings calm

My mom is on mirtrazapine for depression,  it is supposed to help in sleep and supposedly stimulates hunger.  The NP checks her weight every visit, but so far  her weight is holding  steady. 

My step-dad has a swallowing  issue due to so much surgery on his throat and neck. It’s supposedly not bad enough for thickening concoctions.   He uses a spoonful of applesauce to help in swallowing his larger pills.  He wants water and applesauce  at every meal to help with certain foods.  

If your mom’s major issue is a couple hours later, then it may be the digestive tract.  Are you serving anything that is even a little bit spicy?  Because I’ve noticed that I can’t eat the spicy foods I used to due to discomfort a couple hours ( or even the next morning) later.  It’s one of the reason food is so bland in elderly group living places. 

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

I didn't even think about if she was favoring soft foods or not. We don't really have any hard foods? We've been trying to give her simple foods that she can just pick up and put it in her mouth. Steamed vegetables, sandwiches, beans, yogurt, and oatmeal to name a few of them. She occasionally eats a single almond or pecan or a few pretzel sticks lately.

My OS was a dental hygienist and she just brushed and flossed mom's teeth today. Didn't mention anything out of the ordinary and a few months ago, maybe August, mom was seen by a dentist that said everything was fine. (But of course that's August.)

I'm assuming sis told the doctor she's been having trouble swallowing some of the pills, she told the other guy last time; I'll follow up with that, thank you. Yep, that other pill is Mirtazapine. She's also taking Setraline but the PCP is having us cut back from two to eventually one.

As for bowels. Hm. I don't think it's sluggish though it's hard to tell because of her having runny stools.  Bowel movement doesn't seem abnormal beyond the diarrhea.

I think the only thing we give her that might be considered spicy is pizza. That's served every Thursday night. She had a little half inch by half inch piece of pizza yesterday and nothing happened afterwards that we could tell though she was grumpy this morning. Not sure if that's related.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Thanks so much for all the feedback everyone. You've given me a lot to think about and to watch for.

I think we're going to try to treat for gastritis and if there's no improvement, I will be getting hospice in regardless of what the doctor says. OS said she'd bring it up at the appointment but I've not had a chance to verify it with her as she's always been with mom whenever I see her. Don't want to talk about mom in front of her; usually she gets upset and thinks we're accusing her of doing bad. A mix between anosognosia and paranoia I suppose.

Her auditory hallucinations have steadily been increasing lately. Not sure if that has much of any bearing on the situation but it might play into delusions of her food being tainted. Was thinking about tell OS to get an appointment with the neurologist asap since they're always booked for months on end.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Mom didn't throw up for a whole week but then did again last night. We're trying to figure out if there's a pattern to it or what. 

Regardless, the last two days she's been having better apatite. She had about a table spoon of popped corn kernels with lunch today, which she usually doesn't, even on a good day.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

Just one more update: mom's been eating a lot better now, hardly ever mentions throwing up. She's almost back to eating as much as she used to. We're trying to be careful with not giving her too much at once as she recovers from whatever made her not eat. She kept asking for more food last night! That never happens, we were so happy but didn't have much else to give her besides candy lol! 

Not sure if it's the Mirtazapine or the treatment for gastritis but something changed and she's loads better. Now if only I had more energy to keep up with her!