Online Support Group for male caregivers of early onset wife

Dan Hoffman

This is a monthly online support group specifically for male spouses caring for their early onset dementia wife. The support group is operated through Lorenzo’s House and is called The Light Lounge.

The Light Lounge is a virtual space where male caregiver spouses of a loved one diagnosed with younger-onset Alzheimer’s or other dementias come together to exchange self-care perspectives, experience a sense of belonging, and build community.

https://lorenzoshouse.org/our-model/healing-spaces/light-lounge/

I am posting this link in both the Spouse and Early Onset message groups.

I co-founded this support group. If there is anyone out there that wants to continue this dialogue on a confidential personal basis, please feel free to connect to me via ALZConnected and we can continue offline.

Michael Ellenbogen

I dont get it why just male?

Dan Hoffman

@Michael

Great question. I am in a support group that has co-ed spouses and includes adult children. After some internal discussions, there was a desire to have a strictly "men's group" to discuss particular items in confidence that weren't necessarily comfortable in a co-ed group.

Jo C.

Can you enlighten us?  Women in this day and age are comfortable with most subjects including sex and frank issues surrounding that topic.  Women too have those issues and can be open about them.

The only thing I can think of unless you can enlighten us, is the topics hush-hush aspect may have been about having sex outside of marriage with another woman when a wife has dementia.  This was the topic you placed on the Spousal Forum, so that is why it comes to mind.  However, no surprise to most . . . women too have that issue; not just males.

Sure would like to be informed of what topics were off limits to females so I am better informed as I am at a bit of a loss wondering.

J.

Michael Ellenbogen

I am sorry to say but you folks are a bit misguided. If your really want help you would include all as they may give the answers you have no idea on what they are because you are men. Sorry to say but I find women with much mor logical answers on many topics. If it was me I would rather her from a women than some men but that is my opinion. Do you realy want help or is this a social gathering? 

feelsad

I believe the need for male caregivers group is very much there. There are specifics in caring for a female with EO ALZ and it's not easy for a male sometimes to share experiences in the wider group.

I've joined and hope it'll help to lighten our days somewhat.

Iris L.

I spoke with the leader of a local caregiver support group.  She did form a separate support group for male caregivers.  She said men tend to think that they can "fix it", whatever the disability is.  Apparently, being with other men helps them come to the realization that they cannot fix it.

I have come to observe that new male caregivers often join with the belief that there is one "thing" they can do to fix their LO, and make everything better.  Then they eventually find out that dementia caregiving doesn't work like that.  Because dementia is a global disability, not just a single glitch.

Iris

jjewlz777

Can you share the coed group? I am dealing with my mother and am looking for a support group

Iris L.

Welcome Jewel.  Call your local Alzheimer's Association and ask if they sponsor support groups.  There are other places that offer support groups, such as care facilities.  Read the message boards,  they function as an online support group.  You can post in the general Caregivers board.

Iris L.