My brother is miss mismanaging my mothers finances

seano1

I'm afraid my brother is mismanaging my mother's finances, which could lead to bankruptcy.

He got a home equity line of credit in her name against her house. I thought this would be used for unexpected expenses, but my brother started using it to buy solar equipment. He believes that society will collapse and that we need an off-the-grid power system.

This summer, he told me that he was almost at the 100k limit of the credit line. He wanted to take out another loan against my mother's house but couldn't because the house has a tainted title. The loan costs about $1,200 a month to service, and he's using my mother's survivor's benefits she got when her husband died to service that loan.

With the cost of servicing this loan, we kept falling short on monthly expenses, and I'm afraid this could lead to my mom going bankrupt and losing her home.

I've tried contacting lawyers about this, but no one seems interested in helping me with this problem.

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numb

If your brother is POA he is ABUSING his responsibilities .     What level of dementia is your mother at.?   If she has not been found incompetent by either a court or two doctors he is mismanaging her funds. 

Call whoever drew up the POA papers and talk to them. Also call the bank and warn them that they have been complacent. 

seano1

"I'm sorry you're watching this happen-- is your brother acting officially as your mother's DPOA? Or is he faking her signature on these papers? Does she have dementia? Are you living with her? Is she helping to support you - place to live?"

My brother does not have any kind of power of attorney. He got a notary to approve the loan over the phone. He uses my one of my mother's bank accounts to service, which does not have his name on them, to service the loan.

My mother has very bad dementia, to the point where she can't carry on a coherent conversation. 

I live with my mother and my brother.

There's been another development. I found a paper he wants my mom to sign that would make him the sole executor of my late father's estate.

Our father died about a year ago. Because of how the house is titled, it would have to go through probate before it could have a clean title in my mom's name. This has proved fortunate so far because it prevented my brother from taking out loans against the house.

I can't trust my brother to be his executor. I'm sure he could do many shady things in that role. He would have to get the document notarized, and I think a notary doing their job would refuse; my mom is in worse condition than when the loan was taken out.

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Michael Ellenbogen

I see fraud written all over this and much of t can probably undone. I am also not sure why the house did not automatically go to your mother if they were married but that is another issues. The real question her is would you real be willing to stand up to your brother as it can get very dirty.

eaglemom

Oh dear, this is not good on any level. Is your brother legally your mother's POA? Meaning signed paperwork from your mother. Or has he just assumed this role? Since your sharing here I would assume you've tried to discuss this with him to no avail. 

You need to get in touch with an attorney. Take all the documentation you have. You have to look at it as your protecting your mom and her finances not that your brother is stealing her funds. Let the attorney sort through this and handle it. Yes it could get messy, but again your protecting what is your mother's.

eagle

seano1

Michael Ellenbogen wrote:

I see fraud written all over this and much of t can probably undone. I am also not sure why the house did not automatically go to your mother if they were married but that is another issues. The real question her is would you real be willing to stand up to your brother as it can get very dirty.

Years ago, before she had dementia, my mom had the house titled as tenants in common because she wanted her share of the house to go to my brother and me rather than my dad if she would die first. She did not talk to any qualified professional before doing this.

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seano1

Does anyone know a good elder law attorney in the San Francisco Bay Area? I've emailed half a dozen attorneys I've found online but haven't gotten one consultation.

Michael Ellenbogen

Not sure where this person is compared to you but I would ask them for a person. Tell them I sent you and tell them I said hello to Joel. Tell them I am still alive an kicking.

Susan B. Geffen, 

Gerontologist, Elder Law Attorney

Former Elder Law Professor, Book Author 

Susan B Geffen Law Offices and 1Heart Caregiver Services, 2447 Pacific Coast Highway, 2nd Floor, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254
(310) 406-0608 or email [email protected]

JJ401

Email is fine for some things, but for making appointments calling works better. Calling during business hours and requesting ban appointment should yield an appointment.

ouafaex

Thanks for the good advice here. This thread really helped me to make a plan for my following actions. My elder brother also abused my father's money, and I didn't know what I could do about it. I opposed him multiple times, but he wouldn't listen.
He wastes my father's money extensively to buy stuff in his online games and buy stuff online, and he wasted more than $2000 last month for all of that. My father has really bad dementia, but my brother is not his legal representative. Now I will collect all the documents and go to Mortgage Advisor London or another property specialist to protect my father's finances from my brother somehow.

Jo C.

Hello Seano; I am sorry I did not see this sooner.  Since you are in the San Francisco area, please do use Google and look up the, "Family Caregiver Alliance."  It is a wonderfully high quality group that has been in existence for quite some time and exists for the caregivers.  They are located in the San Francisco area; they also have a contact phone number one can call to obtain information.  I think they may be able to assist you with your question re need for an attorney.

One can join their free online mailing list to receive email newsletters which are of high quality and keep us informed re all sorts of pertinent information including federal laws, Medicare, Medi-Cal and so much more.

 J.

seano1

A few days ago, I talked to a lawyer about getting a conservatorship for my mom. It took a long time to find someone who would speak to me. The lawyer doesn't think that buying the solar panels alone would be enough to disqualify my brother from being a conservator. If I went through with getting a conservatorship, he would be notified and could object.

If I can find another person I can trust, and my brother will accept, my mom could get a conservatorship. I'd also have to come up with $7K for a retainer to the conservatorship process, which will be hard.

Meanwhile, my brother said something that suggested he lost some of my mom's money in the crypto market. He phrased it as a "bear market" keeping him from selling the crypto. I don't have any proof of this because I don't have access to the relevant accounts.

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jahzkan

Family issues can be tough to deal with, especially when it involves money matters. It's important to approach the situation with care and open communication. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your brother and express your concerns about how he handles your mother's finances. Offer to help or suggest seeking professional advice, like consulting a financial planner or a trusted advisor. Speaking of financial advice, I recently had a chat with someone who knows a lot about managing finances - a Mortgage Broker in Wolverhampton. Maybe your brother needs to get some pieces of advice, too.

M1

This is an old thread from fall 2022....