Please help me!(1)

Brokenhearteddaughte

I been on here once before about my Dad.Well over the last 6 days I had my mother ron the ehospital for 3 days,she came home and my Dad didn't recognize her and ended up running in her out of the house the same day she got home,he was threatening her so she had to call my sister to pick her up.Then on Thursday night my Dad was hallucinating and went outside with a stick and a long screwdriver and yelling that some people were in the ehouse and in his room,a neighbor called the cops on him.They found nothing,then told cops that someone was trying to break in.My mom had to return home and when I tried to sneak away the screwdriver and he saw me he chased my car and kicked it.I am just so sad that my family is going thru this and to see him become so violent it is killing me inside I been a emotional wreck!Can't stop crying,I need help!I can't deal with this.What should I do?

terei

If your father will not consent to going to the ER(probably  wont), the next time he starts this out of control, threatening behavior, you + mother should call 911 + demand that he be transported to the ER + then onto a geriatric psych ward.   At that point, he will be evaluated + probably medicated to control the behaviors.

At this point, your father is dangerous to himself + others.  Do not delay in having him taken to a facility.   

I would also recommend that this behavior is video taped so you can show authorities what he is doing.  

There are lots of posts here about what to do in case this happens.  Take control of the situation and do not let your father’s dementia control the whole family.

M1

Agree entirely and I'm so sorry you're facing this, but he needs to be hospitalized and treated.  If your mother is in the house with him (you too), you need phones with you at all times and a room you can lock.  Medication is your only resort at this point, and it will remain to be seen whether he can still stay home or will need facility care.  But you need to do this now, for everyone's sake.  Went through it myself this spring, so I know what I'm saying.

Brokenhearteddaughte

We went to his Drs and they made him an appointment for Monday to be seen,we are going to request that he gets admitted to a ALZ lock unit because we know he will give them hell and try to leave by foot.He does that now and takes off walking and my mom can't stop him or control him.Hes gotten lost once but lucky some stranger helped him get home.We know he needs medical help but refuses to go to Drs so let's home he goes on Monday.Its been so stressful.I can't deal with this.I am overwhelmed.

.

mommyandme (m&m)

Glad you’re planning to get him in to see the dr.  He still may need his behaviors controlled before being admitted to a Memory Care facility. The trip to the ER and ultimately a GeriPsych Unit may still be on the “short list” of tasks prior to any admittance. 

I’m sending thoughts for peace your way.  

ElCy

I just went through something similar last week with my husband. He kicked me out of the house not knowing who I was. After 3 days I finally called 911. I was so scared to call but in the long run it was the very best thing for both of us. He is now in a Geri psych unit where they are trying to find the right meds. I can breathe a sigh of relief… finally.

Phoenix1966

You got some great advice in your first post a month ago: https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147562505

You need to follow it asap. If your dad refuses to go to his upcoming appointment, you need to make sure you and your mom are safe for the next blow-up, which will happen sooner or later. It’s been less than a month since the last time he terrified you. Call 911, explain his condition and have them take him by ambulance to the ER and then a geri-psych unit. 

Do NOT let them convince you to take him home. Keep repeating that there is no safe discharge plan in place and it is not safe for you and your mother to have him back home. 

Do not hesitate to call 911. I think you perhaps see it as a betrayal to him somehow, but you need to keep everyone safe now. You are doing these things for him, not to him. Keep reminding yourself of that. 

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

harshedbuzz

Brokenhearteddaughte wrote:

We went to his Drs and they made him an appointment for Monday to be seen,we are going to request that he gets admitted to a ALZ lock unit because we know he will give them hell and try to leave by foot.

This does not sound like a workable plan. Aside from the logistics of getting a volatile PWD and anosognosia into the car and driving him to an appointment has thus far refused, you are not taking him to a place where your wish can be granted. It is on the family to make a geripsych hospitalization happen-- his PCP or neurologist cannot do this for you in the context of an office visit.

We had similar issues with dad who could become aggressive and threatening. I do hope you have taken steps to remove anything that can be weaponized in the home-- guns, knives, sports (bats, gold clubs) equipment, tools, and even decor which could be thrown. Mom needs a safe room with a look and egress to the outside and a charge phone on her person. 

You need to have him transported via ambulance the next time he is experiencing these symptoms/behaviors. I would contact your local hospital and enquire about a geripsych unit. If they don't have one, they'll know which area hospital does. When dad was discharged from rehab and we had this concern, I knew which hospitals had a geripsych unit so I could request transport to that hospital and not just the closest one. I also had those hospitals unit's phone numbers and was instructed to call ahead to be sure they had a bed available and let them know he was coming.

He does that now and takes off walking and my mom can't stop him or control him.Hes gotten lost once but lucky some stranger helped him get home.We know he needs medical help but refuses to go to Drs so let's home he goes on Monday.Its been so stressful.I can't deal with this.I am overwhelmed.

Please re-read the posts in this thread and the previous one Pheonix linked-- your answer is likely going to be a geripsych admission. 

.

Hoot619

Your Mother is at home with him I take it. Make sure you are there Monday morning and if he causes any trouble call 911.He has already threatened her before.

 When they get there meet them outside and let them know your Mother is in danger of getting hurt by him. Insist they take him to ER and don't let take him back home no matter what ER says.

  Follow the advice here, you are protecting him and also your Mother and yourself. Your Dad thinks he is OK but he is NOT.   Once they get him some medications that work he may be able to come home.  If  I was your Mother I would want him in MC.  This disease is unpredictable-never can tell what our LO will do.

jfkoc

Let me reassure you that you can deal with this and we will be here for you. Some nuts and bolts.

Please  take your father for an UTI test.

Is his Dr a neurologist?

What medications is your father taking? OTC?

Do the police know what the problem is...do the neighbors know?

Is your mother safe? Will she be able to lock herself in a safe room with her cell and wait for the police to arrive? If she is not you will need to stay at the house until your father is