An update and a question

White Crane

I wrote awhile back that I had hemorrhagic gastritis.  Thankfully, that is getting better and I am able to add back in some foods the Dr. had told me to avoid.  Unfortunately, the pain has not gone away.  Last Thursday, I had a gallbladder ultrasound to see if the pain could be coming from there.  The gallbladder looked fine but they think I might have a blockage in a ureter.  I am being referred to a urologist.  That is worrisome but I am trying to stay positive and trusting God to get me through.  I've also been sick with an extremely soar throat.  The Dr. at urgent care tested me for Covid, strep, and flu...all were negative.  He said if I wasn't better in three days to start on the antibiotic he prescribed.  Well, this morning I started taking it. 

Being sick is so hard since DH and I are the only one's here.  He tries but admits he does not know how to take care of me or what to do.  Yesterday, he fretted for over half an hour about what he would do if I stopped breathing.  He even wanted to call someone and take me to the hospital even though  I'm not that sick.  I felt so bad for him.  He was so upset.  And I didn't feel good and just wanted to rest.  Well, rest wasn't happening so I got him to help me fold laundry and then we played rummy until supper time.  The bottom line:  being sick with no one other than DH to care for me is very difficult and I usually end up taking care of him no matter how bad I feel.

All this has really made me aware of how vulnerable I am if I should have a heart attack or stroke and need help fast.  I've looked at some of the medical alert devices but don't know which would be the best.  Have any of you gotten one of these for yourself or your LO?  If so, which one.  DH said yesterday, "I'm not a caregiver!  I don't know what to do if you stop breathing!"  I don't know for sure what he would do either.

Ed1937

Brenda, I'm so sorry you have all this going on. It's hard enough when you feel fine. 

I have the Bay Alarm Medical. The package I have is only one that can be activated by pressing a button for help. I can tell you that it does work. They also have other packages, including one that will call in case of a fall. They will call you to see if you need help. If there is no answer from you, help is on the way. Whatever you decide, you might be able to negotiate the price before buying.

There are other products, and here is a link to those for consideration. https://www.usnews.com/360-reviews/services/medical-alert-system  

Whyzit

My doctor suggested contacting my health insurance company as some of them do provide life alert devices and services. So I contacted them and they furnished the device as well as the response service without any cost to me. You may have that benefit without realizing it. 

5 weeks ago I fell backwards against our dining room table and broke 5 ribs. DH was sleeping soundly and didn’t hear my calls for help. It took me an hour but I managed to inch myself on my back over to our landline. Fortunately I was able (thank you Lord) to get the phone and dial 911. The police came and an ambulance too but it took awhile for them to get a master key to get into our condo. A policeman awakened DH to tell him I was injured and going to the hospital. I called my son from the ambulance to come and deal with DH.

I was in the hospital for a week and then a rehab facility for another week. I made arrangements that were originally approved for DH to go to respite care doing self pay. It was cancelled because that location didn’t accept our insurance and if DH needed medical care they couldn’t (wouldn’t) be able to care for him or arrange for care. DH stayed at home with neighbors, condo staff and son watching out for him as best as they could. He didn’t take medications, became increasingly incontinent, and called me at night asking if I was lost or hurt and should he come find me. It was horrible trying to talk him down from being panicked and confused.

I have an appointment with my insurance agent to review best options now that we are in the open enrollment period. My family thought DH could manage in my absence and even though I knew he couldn’t, I didn’t have the ability to change things.

My ribs are almost healed and I am home bound doing Physical Therapy. DH is back on schedule and the incontinence has improved. He really hasn’t comprehended what has transpired and as someone else wrote The Calvary is not coming to rescue us. DH wants to go to McDonald’s for a burger and hot fudge Sundae. Thinking of that I could use a HAPPY MEAL about now…..but I have to be released from PT first. He just asked me if we had lunch yet……yep…..lol. Although we are managing ok at the moment, that two weeks did cause him to do a real nose dive memory wise.  Fortunately day care resumes this week after another Covid outbreak so I will have three days a week to evaluate placement options, start paper work for medicaid and get everything in place to protect both of us from the inevitable.

I don’t ever want to go through something like this again.

June45

Brenda, when my husband was alive, I had the same concerns that you do and I still do. (He once told me that if something happened to me that he would be very careful and drive me to the hospital. That wasn't going to happen; he hadn't driven in years and didn't know where I kept the keys.) Now that he has passed, I am completely alone. No family around; my daughter lives 3000 miles away. I am definitely looking for a medical alert bracelet. Meanwhile, I have made up a legal envelope that contains a photocopy of my DL, medical cards, etc.; a list of my meds (Rx and OTC); my immunization records; a brief medical history; a copy of my living will and my health surrogate papers. On the outside of the envelope, I wrote: Attn: EMTs and I listed the contents of the envelope. Also put my daughter's phone number on the envelope.  I put it is in a prominent place.  Strange living like that but no choice.

Iris L.

June45 wrote:

  . Meanwhile, I have made up a legal envelope that contains a photocopy of my DL, medical cards, etc.; a list of my meds (Rx and OTC); my immunization records; a brief medical history; a copy of my living will and my health surrogate papers. On the outside of the envelope, I wrote: Attn: EMTs and I listed the contents of the envelope. Also put my daughter's phone number on the envelope.  I put it is in a prominent place.  Strange living like that but no choice.

Read about "File of Life".  It has some of the above information to be placed in a small, red magnetized folder to go on the outside of your refrigerator.  EMTs know to look there.  I got mine from a city Department of Aging.

Iris

June45

Iris, Thank you for the information about the "File of Life"!!!

Ed1937

June, around here EMTs are trained to look on the refrigerator door first. I assume it is probably the same across the U.S. I've had one on there for several years. It's really good to have that info available, and it needs to have the date changed when it is reviewed, typically every couple of months.

MN Chickadee

Not an expert just someone who dabbles in a little tech here and there. I wonder about a layered approach to the challenge of making sure a caregiver can get help in a medical emergency. It seems every product has its limitations but if you could afford a couple of them your odds of getting help would be higher. There are the many brands and types of medical alert buttons where you would press it if you were conscious. I hope others can comment on specific products of medical alert devices. There are so many now and it's a fascinating yet confusing market. Some of these products have monthly plans you can do for fall alert so that if you were not conscious and went down it would alert the authorities. Then there are smart watches, such as the Apple watch that have fall detection, though it isn't 100%. If you were otherwise interested in its features that may make sense to have. In theory it would detect if you went down and didn't move within a few seconds. Then there are the home technology systems such as Amazon Echo, Apple Home Pod, and Google Nest. If connected to a landline they can call 911, otherwise they can be programmed to call a pre-programmed number via whatever cell phone is associated. Some can also interface with other fall detection devices and call an emergency contact. Or it can call an emergency contact if you haven't spoken to the device by a certain time, like if you haven't spoken by 7 am each day. While I generally resist that ever present listening tech in my life now, I think if I were the sole caregiver to a PWD I may be comforted by the notion that at any time I could blurt out "Alexa call 911"  and it would work in an instant without any further action. I would also have signs near the entry way indicating there is a vulnerable person living there and where to find information. If the EMS find their way to you in whatever fashion you also want them to know what to do with your DH when they get there.

White Crane

Thank you so much, Ed!  This link is very helpful.

White Crane

Whyzit, what an ordeal for you!  And for your DH!  My insurance does provide an alert system but I will have to wait until the first of the year since I will probably be changing insurance plans.

White Crane

I was given a vial of life a couple of months ago but haven't filled it out yet.  I need to do that.

White Crane

Thank you MN Chickadee for your input.  All good idea.