Still struggling with a decision

Sunrise24

So here we are at the end of October and my DH has been doing well at mc since June.  He is very happy there but enjoys going out with me as well.  The NP has managed to get rid of all voices and he has no memory of them.  I have taken him to dinners, family functions and all behaviors are entirely appropriate.  He helps staff at mc moving chairs or carrying things.  He has exhibited no anger or any of the past behaviors.  I really feel right now as though I am paying an exhorbitant amount of money to basically let him hang out and sleep there.  I visit every day and try to take him out at least for an hour or so.  I brought him home Saturday and he helped me with blowing leaves off deck and we watched a movie.  Still struggling with wanting to bring him home for good…. Any thoughts? NP said she would continue to monitor his meds if I chose to take him home which is also comforting.

Joe C.

Sunrise, This is a decision that only your can make. I can only share my personal experience with DW delusions and medication treatment. Similar to your husband, DW had delusions that people were coming to hurt and/or kill us. These fears would have made it impossible for me to keep her home is she was trying to get out of the house all hours of day & night. To be clear she never said she heard voice but her delusions were very strong & real for her. We were lucky in that the first antipsychotic medication prescribed work in quelling the delusions. The medication dosage needed to be adjusted overtime but the delusions never returned and this aloud me to keep her home an additional 18 months. When I did finally place her it was not due to delusions, it was more that the progression of the disease no longer made home the safest living environment for her. In our case it was possible to manage delusions and keep DW a little longer. You have a difficult decision and I wish you the well with whatever choice you make.

Sunrise24

Thanks for the feedback Joe!  I think the fact that you were able to keep your dw for another 18 months is encouraging…. He displays no other behaviors typical of Alzheimer’s except for his horrible short term memory… A dementia specialist who I talked to said she didn’t think he has Alzheimer’s but he participated in two clinical trials that required PET scan and mri in order to qualify and be sure that the presence of Amyloid and Tau were there…. If you actually met him and spoke to him, you would not guess that there was an issue…. I guess I just hate to keep him there on the ‘Chance’ that the behaviors could resurface…..

Ed1937

I have a feeling you'll be bringing him home, and I won't suggest that you don't. Just want to wish you good luck with whatever decision you make.

Sunrise24

Thanks Ed!  It really is a dilemma…. I guess at this point it all comes down to me…. If he were declining faster, it would be an easier decision….

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Sunrise24

Hi Victoria2020…. Thank you for your thoughts….  Yes, things to consider… He is a long way from needing a hospital bed.  He showers and dresses himself… helped me chop vegetables for a meal and will carry bags if I am in a store… He was dancing at facility the other day and played cornhole.  I could leave him for an hour or so with no problem… I guess I feel as though if I could have him home even another year or so, I would be saving a fortune… As it stands? I can only afford to keep him at this facility for maybe another year and a half and after that, I would need to go to Soldier’s home.. which I am sure would be distressing because he sees the people where he is at as family…. It is so tough right now…. I am sure this place would take him back if there was an opening but of course, that is never guaranteed…