Paying for MC

ghphotog

My wife was federal employee for over 30 years. I was late trying to get her enrolled in the Federal Government's long term care insurance. When I answered the preliminary questions honestly they immediately rejected her.
We have some money put away into our retirement accounts but MC will take all of that in a matter of a few years leaving me possibly flying a sign on the corner in my old age.
I would just like to hear how others in a similar situation have been able to pay for MC. 
I'll be speaking with a Medicaid Planner at some point soon but I would like to hear other's experiences.

Rick4407

Hello GH, I've read several of your posts.  Like many here, I had a comfortable retirement planned and paid for - then came Alzheimers.  I have always been a "planning" sort of person so that's what I have done.  I will keep my DW at home as long as possible. She is currently entering stage 7.  It's been a long trip but not nearly as bad as many here.  

In my case I started with the legal stuff to get that settled.  Next I was lucky to find a good neurologist. That office, through a very competent NP, has kept me in the drugs that seem to help.  Life style changes have just sort of come to pass.  My DW literally goes everyplace with me and we always hold hands.  She goes to my Dr's appointments and I go to hers. 

The hardest part is the mental acceptance that your future has been changed dramatically.  These days I have a hobby I pursue when time allows and follow world events very closely.  

I hope you will come to a place that works for you.  Good luck, Rick

Crushed

I'll be blunt.  This is a horrible family and life destroying disease.  And it appears in political trends in Washington that it will be getting worse 
Medicaid is your lifeboat but in some states of the USA it is simply awful
But you need to do medicaid planning now with a good elder care lawyer  

When I did our retirement calculations in 2005  we made the decision to self insure for long term care (LTC)  We both worked full careers in well paid civil service positions.  We had always been prodigious savers.  I estimated that for each of us LTC would cost our full pensions and social security and  25% more .  Right now LTC for my wife costs her full FERS pension and social security and 40% more.  We have it due to TSP and My pension and because I was her  sole caretaker at home for 7 years.    She has been in LTC for 5 years.  

I am very aware that very few people can afford this, which is why you need medicaid advice   
 YESTERDAY

Kibbee

I am in a similar situation. DH had brain cancer, a stroke, and seizures in his late 30’s, and after that no LTC company would insure him.  He had saved money in an IRA and a Roth during the years he worked, so that money is earmarked for his care.  That money will not last forever so I will keep him at home and delay placement for as long as possible. I am hoping his retirement funds will see him thru to the end.  If not, then my retirement funds will be tapped next.  I just hope I end up with enough left over for my own care needs.  Since I do not have any children to move in with, I sincerely hope I do not end up living in box under a bridge.

Welcome to for-profit healthcare in America.  

ghphotog

Thank you all for the replies.
It sounds like some are doing what I'm doing. I'll keep my DW at home for as long as possible before considering MC but after all of these years of this disease, I'm getting tired. 
I don't see how I can care for her alone as her mind deteriorates even more, her body is very healthy, but we will keep on keeping on I guess. Our only option until the last minute, if we make it that far.
As someone so eloquently stated, "The calvary is not coming!"

It's frustrating that Medicare and our private insurance does not consider dementia a medical disease but a custodial one. It's one of the worst and hardest diseases to struggle with but private insurance and Medicare won't help. It should be called "Medicareless"
Also frustrating is that because it's a pre-existing condition that requires LTC we cannot get help with that.

ElCy

Of your spouse has a life insurance policy with living benefits you can tap into that.

Bill_2001

Hi gh,

It all depends on the state you live in. Sadly, the federal Medicare program does not cover custodial care. What a kick in the tush. After careful retirement planning, it all comes down to the term "custodial care."

The problem, as we all know here, is that taking care of someone with dementia/Alzheimer's is a 24x7 ordeal. They need someone to do just about everything for them, just as we are doing. Outsourcing that 24x7 task is expensive.

I went into this realization kicking and screaming, discovering little by little just how hard it is to find help with my dear wife and still hope to have some semblance of a retirement after it ends. I have come to accept that this may not be possible, so I have decided to keep her at home with me for now. One day at a time. I am using the same tactic that many others here are: Delaying expensive care (memory care, nursing home, or any outsourcing of care) as long as I possibly can. I estimate that I save about $100K for every year that I trudge through this disaster.

Another big problem with planning is that we have NO IDEA how long this will go on. Five years? Ten? Twenty? Ask ten caregivers how long they have been doing this, and you will get ten different answers.

Here is my simple advice, based on the state I live in (Missouri):

1. Call a Certified Elder Law Attorney right now and get all legal documents in order. It costs a few thousand dollars and is worth it. I have already used the documents several times. Also get the details on what your state requires before you qualify for Medicaid. You may discover what I did: Medicaid is not really a solution for me, but everyone's situation is different.

2. Keep your loved one at home as long as possible, without sacrificing your health.

3. Find an Adult Day Care. This will help you get some rest, and get some things done when you need to. It will help you delay placement a bit longer.

4. Find a respite care center. This is usually a memory care center or a nursing home that offers short-term care (weeks, or possibly a month or two). This is expensive but can be budgeted.

5. Simplify! As I stated in another post, you are in charge now. Make your home as caregiving-friendly as possible. Out with the junk you no longer need or want. Meals are your choice. Dump commitments that are not helpful. Make life as pleasant as you can for yourself, so you can outlast this horrific nightmare.

JoseyWales

I don't think it can be said enough.... contact an elder care attorney. Now. I talked with 2 different ones, and neither charged me to just talk about my situation. 

Medicaid is different in each state. In MY state, I was able to protect all our retirement savings, my house, 1 car and almost all our savings. But I would have never have been able to do it without the help of an attorney AND doing it MONTHS before DH went into memory care. If I had placed him before I started trying to protect my retirement, it wouldn't have worked out like it did. 

Contact someone now. NOW.

Ed1937

Josey nailed it. Her state (and mine) is Indiana. It doesn't matter if you think you will not qualify for Medicaid or you think you might. See that certified elder care attorney. Just don't put it on the back burner.

Elshack

Each person's situation is different. I didn't see an elder care attorney and my DH is in memory care. Incoming monthly money covers his monthly cost with about $600.00 left over for me. I am going into our CD's, IRAs etc. to cover my monthly rent and expenses. My DH is 92 1/2 and we have about $ 300,000.00 in savings so I figure I can cover our expenses for a couple of years. If he lives longer than which I seriously doubt I will then make other plans and see about going on Medicaid. 

In your situation I would say to see an elder care attorney who can help you now. 

I am sorry we all are on this road together.

dhyink

I am in a similar situation as Kibbee.  My husband had a massive stroke in his late 20's and developed a severe seizure disorder. (rest of story in my profile)  No one will sell him a life insurance policy valued high enough to cover long term care, and definitely not a LTC policy.   Because he was disabled early in life, he does not have any significant retirement savings.   

I recently moved from Houston, TX to North Carolina to be closer to family, + there are more resources for people with dementia here.  Unfortunately, NC is a state where I would have to spend down both of our assets to qualify for Medicaid.  That would leave me with almost no money for my own retirement.   I need to work, but even the day care options will be a major financial burden.    I'm currently looking for decent-paying work from home/freelance jobs so that I can care for him and pay the bills.  

I'm working on the CELA---thanks Bill_2001 for reminding me that I need to book this ASAP!  It is on my calendar for Monday. 

I am feeling frustrated that I have diligently saved to fund my retirement and to cover my health needs, but may lose almost everything to care for my husband.  Plus, if I have to stop work for an unknown length of time, my chances of getting a job decreases as I get older.   There has to be a better way. 

ghphotog

Dhyink, Yes, there should be a better way. I so feel for you and I understand where you are at. All we can do is hang in there and hope in the end it all works out. I'm in the same boat and have no idea where the current will take me. Hang in there! It's so difficult but we'll get through it, just cope the best you can and take one day at a time.
We will be OK.

Norm 22

I am retired attorney, seeing a lawyer is the best thing you can do.

DLM122

You mention you’ll be speaking to a Medicaid planner at some point.  I would respectfully suggest you find one this weekend and call Monday morning to set up a meeting asap. There are some strategies which they may be able to help you implement to protect some of the assets.  Some of these strategies may seem extreme when you first hear them but you are in an extreme situation.  Furthermore, I would suggest sitting down with a financial advisor who can help you assess the potential impact of the costs of paying for care.  Full disclosure, I am a financial advisor and have worked with far too many clients in your situation.  As have several other in this thread and as I do above, it’s always a recommendation to speak with an elder care attorney and do it asap.  Medicaid has very specific rules regarding the transfer of assets to “spend down” the estate to qualify for Medicaid and I have provided a link below which gives an overview of things to consider.  I wish you the best in your and your wife’s journey.

https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/medicaid-look-back-period/amp/