Need advice on whether to move MIL to Alz. Unit

Dorty

Hello!  My MIL is in Stage 6.  She's been living in AL for almost 2 years (she was in Stage 3/4 when she moved in).  Her basic needs are being met (help with getting dressed, showered, and meds are administered).  She attends most of the activities (2 daily).  Some she can participate in, some she can not (but they still bring her down to the activity area.)   She has never left her room on her own since she moved in.  She is taken to and from the dining room for meals and activities. 

When she's not at a meal or an activity, she's in her 1 bedroom unit.  Up until recently, she would spend her time watching tv.  Now when we visit (no matter what time of day) we find her in her pj's (or a combination of pj's and regular clothes), in bed with the tv off.   

I just wonder if we are doing right by her?  The facility she is in IS assisting her to live, but I don't know if that's enough anymore because of her progression of alz.  I'm wondering if a facility that specializes in alz would offer her a better quality of life. 

Any advise would be welcome.

MimiMinder

Hello Dorty,

It is always a tough decision when thinking about moving our loved ones. I guess I would encourage you to remember that your MIL's situation is only going to get worse and she will eventually need more care than what AL can provide.

If you are able to meet with the ALZ care partners and tour the facilities, that could provide good information to you. A dementia specific environment could be very beneficial to your MIL. 

But, if a move is going to be considered, you probably need buy in from all family members. A united front is very important, but an ALZ unit might be the most appropriate placement for your loved one.

Good luck in the coming weeks and months!

MN Chickadee

I would go spend some time in the memory care unit. Just ask to observe for a bit so that you can get a sense of what it offers. Remember, it doesn't have to be appealing for a cognitively normal person. Look for all the ways they handle this vulnerable group with an immense disability.  My mother really benefited from a dementia specific unit in stage 6. The extra structure and oversight was really needed. The MC unit likely has a higher staffing ratio which usually means they have more time to focus on something like cajoling a resident out of bed. They often encourage people sit out in the common area instead of in bed or their rooms. Not only does it help with supervision/safety, but then they are more likely to get some stimulation from peers, see other guests coming and going and be less isolated. There is usually much more structure to the day in an MC.  Whereas AL is probably two scheduled activities and people are left to their devices the rest of the day, our MC had a rhythm each day that was very routine and didn't assume anyone was going to self start anything or self entertain at all. When my mother wasn't doing a formal activity they set her up in the common room with others at her level, put music on, left out whatever they liked to fidget with. Dolls, sorting stuff, folding wash cloths, etc. With the higher staffing ratio they knew each resident well and how to make them comfortable. I don't know how much medical oversight your mother has now, but that was another bonus to MC. The RNs were very on top of things and caught stuff before it became an issue. 

I would also be looking at what symptoms/behaviors will cause the AL to force her to move. Will they help with feeding? Either sitting with her to prompt her or actual feeding? Incontinence? Two person lifts? Even if she is is ok there for now she probably won't be for long.

JJ401

Right now Mom is getting lots of extra help. Each AL has their own extra help available list and when you exceed it, it’s time to move to either MC or skilled nursing. Is this standard AL extra help? Or is she at the end of what they will provide? That answer will influence your decision.

You don’t want to be in a situation where the AL is telling you she has to move and you have no idea where to go. Now is the time to investigate options in your area. 

For me, the being in bed with no tv would make me choose MC. To me, it’s behavior more indicative of MC than AL.

Dorty

Thank you everyone for your replies.  Having people to discuss things with who have "been there, done that" is very helpful.  I appreciate you taking time to respond to my post.