Most difficult times

Elshack

DH has been in Memory Care for 2 months. In the past 3 mo he has been taken 4 times via EMS to the hospital to the ER and admitted to the hospital 2 times. ( broken ankle, falling out of bed, falling in the bathroom and the other day for Covid ) He was diagnosed with Covid on Monday and the hospital kept him over night as they said he has pneumonia due to Covid and low potassium. Oddly enough they released him back to Memory Care after just 1 night in the hospital. 

I took a Covid test today and was negative. I had Covid 5 weeks ago so was relieved I guess I have some immunity. I have posted many times before. DH is 92 1/2 and I will soon be 83. On Monday I will go to the funeral home to make arrangements as I want to do this while I still can make these decisions without being totally overwhelmed. DH had been doing so well and eating well etc but there were other residents that had Covid as did some of the help. He does have a bad cough but all the hospital RX'd was potassium and Tylenol. 

DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's 6 yrs ago but the diagnosis became moderate after his brain surgery 4 + yrs ago. I know if I kept him with me I would end up being hospitalized as he developed serious incontinency ( diarrhea ) problems due to Crohn's disease and now urinary problems no doubt due to his dementia. I can't imagine his dying and never seeing him again but I also don't want him to live many more months/ years. I took care of him up until a couple of months ago and see him everyday in memory care and I also do his wash. 

For those on the fence thinking they can continue to take care of their loved one 24/ 7, be sure you realize it will take a toll on your health. I knew after he broke his ankle and also with his bathroom problems that I could no longer take care of him. Thus the move to memory care. 

MN Chickadee

I know how you feel. I didn't want to let my mother go but I also didn't want her to continue on in her condition. You've done your best for your dear husband, that's all anyone can ask. I'm sure in his right mind he would want you to protect your own health and have some quality of life. You might consider hospice now, they can help his final days be as comfortable as possible.

M1

So hard to live through Elshack.  I agree with MN Chickadee, asking about a hospice evaluation couldn't hurt at this point.  If they say no, you can always ask again later, and if they say yes, it's that much more help.

Ed1937

Elshack, I'm sorry it's getting to be that time. But you are smart to make arrangements now instead of waiting. If you are considering a monument or marker, I can tell you there are various prices given for the exact same thing. So be sure to check around. When my wife passed, the cemetery we use gave me a price on a double marker (for my wife and me). While we were putting together the design, I mentioned that I might like a Sox emblem (major league baseball), and I was told there was an extra charge to use it. The extra charge goes to major league baseball, I was told. Any little thing I wanted cost extra. I shopped around, and found the exact same marker with whatever I wanted on it for $1,000.00 less! And it had much more on it than the marker from the other place. And the place I bought from told me MLB does not charge to use the emblem.

Elshack

I had signed him up for Hospice a couple of months before I ended up putting him in Memory Care. Hospice does check him every 30 days and said he was doing ok.

Elshack

DH had been in the army so when he dies, we will have a marker on his grave which we do not have to pay for. When I die, they will just add my name to the marker.