Do I need some in-home care? How to introduce a caregiver?

mrahope

I am sure this topic has been covered before, so please bear with me.  My spouse has been diagnosed with MCI more than a year ago.  He is getting some neuropsychological testing this week for the second time.  He seems worse to be by a fairly significant degree than he did when he was diagnosed.

Several family members have told me that I should consider getting a home health aide of some type just so I can go out without worrying about him.  I am not sure whether this is needed...yet.  He has no trouble with daily activities (eating, toileting, etc.) but is pretty foggy mentally.  If I don't give him his medications, he is not able to consistently take them himself.  He can use a phone, but is inconsistent in his abilities with other devices (TV remote, etc.)

He realizes his abilities are declining, but I think he would be resentful of someone coming into our home to give care.  He is quite mobile and strong for his age despite having heart issues.

My question:  When and how did you know it was time to bring in help?  How did you introduce the topic?  He's not foggy enough to "fib" to, I don't think. 

I'd welcome your perspectives.

A. Marie

(1) If you're asking yourself whether it's time to bring in help, it's time.

(2) Many others on this site have made good suggestions about how to introduce the home help. Me, I just told DH that the aides were coming in to give us both some assistance with housekeeping, etc. I can't say enough good things about the agency I worked with: Both a supervisor and the aide came in on the first day, and we all just sat around and chatted for a while (I didn't try to go out that day). On the second day, the aide came in, we chatted for a while, and then I said casually, "[Aide's name] will be here while I go out to run a few errands." No problems from then on. (But I should add that my DH has no behavioral issues to speak of. With someone who was really acting out, it might well be different.)

Ed1937

It's not uncommon to hear them say they don't need a babysitter. I think most folks say to tell him that you have help coming for you, not him. That seems to be more accepting for them. Don't be in a hurry to leave on the first day.

Or you could say there is a person who is learning how to work with different people, and you would like to give him/her a shot at it since they really need a job.

Or it's an old friend of yours who is really down on her/his luck, and needs to make a few dollars. Just think about it, and you will come up with a lot of different scenarios. 

mrahope

Many thanks for your replies.  I have so much to think about, and will know much more about how he is progressing after we get the results of the neuropsychological tests next week.  Perhaps some things will be clarified.

Gig Harbor

I advertised for companions on my town’s FB page. I wanted someone who could go for walks of 3-5 miles with him, make his lunch and visit with him. I found two lovely ladies and had one come Monday and the other Wednesday and Friday from 11-3. I liked the idea of choosing them by FB because I could see their posts and if we had friends in common. I told my husband that the local college had asked if we could provide inhome experience for people taking classes to become caregivers/helpers. I asked if he would be willing to help out and he said yes. They went along with the story and they became good friends to him. They didn’t do any personal care. It lasted for a year until I placed him. You will be surprised at how much you will enjoy your free time.