Talking to (and touching) strangers

DWF11

My mom is in the early stages of ALZ and the most concerning thing for us is that she approaches strangers (usually men) and engages them in conversation often sharing personal information. She will their touch arms or shoulders as she talks to them. I find it very uncomfortable as a companion, but I can't get her to stop this behavior. Right now, this is more of an issue than her memory. Anyone else going through this? Or tips on how to manage this behavior? Or any ideas how long this stage will last?

Ann1965

When my mom was still in her house and going out to shop or go places, I had the same issue with her telling her life story to any old stranger she met.  It was so unsafe for her to be telling everyone that she was a widow now and living alone, yet I could not get her to stop doing it.  Whenever I said anything, she simply felt like she needed to be afraid to talk to people.  The filter was not there any longer to make wise decisions concerning the information she shared.  I was not successful in finding a way to get her to stop this behavior.  In a way, the situation resolved itself because she started doing things that made it unsafe for her to live alone any longer, and now she is in memory care not far from my house.  I have so much more peace now.

Mint

The Mild Behavioral Impairment Checklist (MBI-C): A rating scale for neuropsychiatric symptoms in pre-dementia populations

Huge issue for my mom.  She has lost all boundaries.  The other day I figured out how to make a link but today can’t do it lol.  The above is title of article that attachments came from.  Can search this title or just enter Mild Behavior Impairment checklist and can read articles on this.  

Very challenging to deal with.

Mint

Huge issue for my mother.  All boundaries pretty much gone, very challenging.  She pretty much  knows no stranger or danger, would give the whole farm away etc.

Believe in 2017 a Mild Behavior Impairment checklist was in development.  Can find it if you search for it.  They believed that it would be a predictor of future dementia.  My curiosity is going to try and look into it again when I have time and see if I can find new information.  

If I find something more concrete will try and mention it on here or if you find something would appreciate the same.

harshedbuzz

DWF-

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here, but glad you found us.

Dementia robs a person of so much more than memory. Early losses include things like empathy, executive function and social filters. I noticed this in dad well before his memory issues were obvious to others. Another thing that occurred later in the disease progression was dad started to be less oriented to time meaning that he traveled back to eras in his own life when he was a much younger man which exacerbated how this impacted others. I noticed this behavior in dad well before he was officially diagnosed, perhaps as early as 2008. It seemed to peak around 2012-2017 and tailed off in the last months of his life. 

Initially dad's 2 ickiest behaviors were inappropriate banter with female servers and talking to little kids he didn't know. The latter was a surprise as dad was never what one might call a "kid person". We managed the restaurant piece by asking for male servers by name and sticking close by to hurry him along when he got too into it with little kids. 

There do exist small business cards that you can discretely slip to a person interacting with your mom that explain that she has dementia. Some folks swear by them. IME, unless a person has lived with dementia up-close-and-personal, I don't know that many people would understand this.

Dad later progressed to telling random people a conflated story about an act that would have seen him arrested. During that ere his world got very small as we stopped taking him out for much more than medical appointments. He still told his outrageous story, but presumably the folks hearing it could recognize it as a symptom of dementia.

HB

PS Does mom live alone? I would be very concerned about her being an especially easy mark for scammers. Be sure you have her financials locked up safely. She might not be safe at home for that reason. 

DWF11

I found the information you mentioned. Thank you. There were a lot of scientific papers, but here's a checklist.  https://images.app.goo.gl/32cmDpaJjNfRaiUr7

Jgirl57

Yes! My HWD always engages strangers in conversations and often tries to engage with store employees   .We just took a road trip to Florida and this behavior was one of the most exhausting one for me( and I did all the driving) . The strangers often don’t understand what he is saying and they don’t get his “jokes” or sometimes inappropriate humor. I foresee online shopping/curbside pick up in our future.