Touring long care homes

Buggsroo

I had my first tour of the long tour home that my dad was in. It was interesting to see how clean the facility was, the friendliness of the staff and the comfortable feeling overall.

I was somewhat emotional but was wearing a mask so no one noticed. I was shown the dining room, the TV room etc. 

It was when I was shown the menu on the dining room door, I was blown away, everything was there and I said, “never mind my husband, I’m moving in.” Then it dawned on me, he would be better off there than with me. 

The menu was varied, the patients get two showers weekly, there are doctors etc. I saw the garden etc. A really nice place.

 I plan to see other places before I make the list of the top five places where I would like to see him placed. It was an emotional but productive day.

M1

Glad it was encouraging B. You're way overdue.

Ed1937

Buggs, I'm glad everything looked so good. No doubt you're right. He will be better off there, and you will be better off having him there. Of course it will be hard for you to get used to it, but it will happen. Then maybe you can regain some part of normal life again. We're all pulling for both of you.

Gig Harbor

I hope you get your name on the lists really soon. Your head is ready even though your heart is not quite ready. I think he will settle in well and there will be things to do and people to watch or visit with. You will be amazed at the weight that will be lifted off your shoulders when you place him. Of course you will be sad but it is a progression that will allow both of you to enjoy life. You deserve a life too so no guilt.

Cherjer

Buggs, I am so happy you are making this decision. You deserve to have some respite after all you have gone through with your DH. I loved the comment on the menu!! Keep up your humor and know that we are all with you in this journey.

toolbeltexpert

Buggsroo that really sounds wonderful. I get to fill out the menu for my dw for a month at a time and occasionally I eat with her. Food is really good where she is at. I thought like you I am moving in. You described where my dw is. Thanks for your update, and may it good things continue to flow into your life. 

Stewart

Beachfan

Best of luck, Buggs!  It took two full years of researching, visiting, evaluating, and dilly-dallying around until my kids finally said, “enough is enough” and placement occurred.  (I did not have anywhere near the problems with DH that you have endured).  My emotions were all over the place, my head was in turmoil, my heart was torn; but at almost one year in, I am in a much better place with just a hole in my heart.  You are on the right path for both of you; stay the course.  Many on this forum are pulling (and praying) for you.

Buggsroo

Thanks all of you for your encouragement. I hope to see a number of other homes before I winnow it down to the five that are the top choices. This one I liked because it was a small one and the staff interacted really well with the residents. There was one person in a wheelchair by the nursing station making cat sounds. He was so good at it, I asked if the home had pets, they demurred and said no. I thought my husband makes all kinds of noises as well, he will be quite at home.  Anyhow it is a good start and an encouraging one.

Gig Harbor

Are there wait lists and if so how long are they? If there is even a one to two month wait I would put my name on that list. You can always refuse if a slot comes up and you are not ready and they will just go to the next person in line.