Help maneuvering unwilling dementia patient

E122333

My grandmother was diagnosed with dementia two months ago following a hip surgery, the family has been trying for years to get the diagnosis. Since that diagnosis she's undergone two surgeries', three weeks out of a full ankle replacement she cannot be weight bearing, but she also doesn't feel intense pain anymore. Shes gotten extremely aggressive about walking, to the point she'll actively sneak off. She thinks we just don't want her to walk because she can't remember the hip and ankle surgeries. It's gotten to the point where I had to lift her back onto bed. I'm strong enough to manage her, but I'm afraid of using the wrong technique and inadvertently hurting her anyways. Where can I go to learn physical management (How to hold and move her into a safe position) when she's intent on putting herself through another surgery?

SusanB-dil

Hi E122333 - Welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

It does sound like she has anosognosia. This is not denial, but rather the firm belief that nothing is wrong. And yes, due to the diagnosis, forgetting she just had the surgery doesn't help.

Other than YouTube videos which might help, might want to check a local community college for a short class for CNA certification.  Some are not giving classes right now due to covid, but you could check.  Another thought (and probably a cheaper option) - perhaps check with a local hospice place, or physical therapy place and just ask them how to do this safely.

jfkoc

I would ask her Dr for a script for PT and OT. I would also rent a wheel chair so that she will be able to "get around" and not be isolated in bed.

SusanB-dil

oh, yes, agree with jfkoc, wonder why the doc had not prescribed the PT already...

progersct

My mother is 89 years old and although she is quite seriously impaired ( i would guess moderate to severe) she is completely unaware of her Alzheimer’s. Consequently she refuses any help and has stopped washing her hair, wearing clean clothes, eating food other than i cream or cookies or going to the doctor. She still believes she can drive, but she hasn’t driven in over 10 years and is definitely not capable of driving. She is mad about any help offered because she says, “I am perfectly fine and do not need any help.” She is married to my stepfather who is seriously ill and has full time care at their home but my mom refuses help and feels the care given is only there for her husband. I do not live near her and am her only surviving child. I do not know how to get help for her as she is adamantly refusing it. I do not have legal authority over her but the situation is not good and i am not sure what to do.

zauberflote

Hello progersct and welcome! If you start your own thread you'll see more traffic to it for your particular question. Maybe a volunteer @jo c will see this and do it for you. 

It sounds like you have a ready-made reason to have help, because step-dad already has full time help. Those helpers probably can't help your mom because rules/insurance, but if you hired someone in addition, who would do perhaps more cooking, housework, etc, "for her husband". It might come to pass that she accepts the new help, and would then come to accept actual personal care from them.   You are in a tough situation, and you'll find lots of expert and supportive help on here.