refuses to get into bed at night

acadiapark

My DW has very recently begun to refuse to get into bed at night. At first it was hesitation/delay. The two previous nights it has been direct refusal and expressed plan to "go downstairs."  She says "this is not my bed" and "I do  not know who you are."

I have given her more time. I have gotten into bed. These tactics have had no impact. Another challenge is that she wants to stand up rather than sit in a chair as I request. She had a vasovagel (physical collapse) again just a few days earlier. This was sixth time in several years. All incidents have occurred while standing in place.

I am at total loss as to what to do. Suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

mommyandme (m&m)

I hope you received some advice on the spouse caregiver forum.  Maybe sitting on the bed with her to look at something, a book or pictures, or something you tell her you need help with.  Might get the process closer.  I’m sorry I don’t have more.

M1

Acadia, sounds like the two of you are sharing a bed?  Sad to say, but that may be the problem if she no longer recognizes you.   I've had that happen, too, so I know how painful it is. Do you have either:  another bedroom where you can sleep, or a cot or a rollaway where you could be in the same room but not in the same bed?  I would not try to move her to a new bedroom, familiarity is going to count for a lot.  

M1

another thought:  medication may help, something that would help her sleep as well as calm behaviors.  We started Seroquel at bedtime for my partner for terrible sleep fragmentation, and it helped tremendously.  You might ask.