Adding a med - I’m afraid

Peteena

Hi.

Mom is 93 in memory care with dementia and hates it. Mostly because she has never accepted losing her car, her summer cottage, independence, etc……she is agitated a lot, has angry outbursts and wants to leave. She was in AL, but would sit outside weird times thinking someone was coming to pick her up, or try getting into cars. Had a few falls…..cannot live by herself. Repeats same questions….all the things we all see someone with dementia do. What sucks is she had more social connections with her AL neighbors, and the MC is with noticeably less cognitive people. Now mom is always saying or thinking she is sick….just obsessively wanting out and sleeps a lot lately earlier.

The GeriPsych lady there has had mom on Sertraline for awhile. Mom was agitated with outbursts so they had a zoom call with the doctor. She said mom just won’t come around about why she is there for safety, etc and her loved ones visit or take her out when they can.  She prescribed Abilify to “help bring mom to reality” maybe to get the Sertraline to work better?

It seems like Abilify is an SSRI /antipsychotic that I read was not advised for Elderly with Dementia. Also has a black box warning for potential heart problems, stroke risk, tardive dyskinesia and dizziness for starters. I know nothing about this drug -just scared myself googling.

Is it just something I just have to risk giving her, and hope it makes things better for her mood?

She uses a Walker when she remembers it, but is kinda wobbly and weak getting up from chairs. I’m just so afraid to give her this if it messes her up. I don’t want her angry and depressed, but don’t know if I should have her take it.

Any experience or advice?

P

Love Matters

Hi there, Your Moms situation sounds much like mine. 92 just moved from AL to MC, has been angry combative wants out. The doctor prescribed seraquel and Ativan prn. At first she was very sedated and more confused than ever. It broke my heart to see her this way. As the weeks have passed she is more calm without the sedation so I've been glad I didn't(and I wanted to) ask the doctor to stop the medication. There is a fine line with medicating but if the behaviors are a danger to the person or others and validation and redirection isn't working that's the next step. How long has your Mom been in MC? I don't like the medication route but can't have her so upset all the time either. I think and could change tommorow that my Mom after 2 months is better adjusted to her environment now so they haven't had to give her the Ativan anymore. Ask them to monitor closely if you choose to use the medication, you can stop if side effects. Good luck, I hope she can calm down. It's really hard on everyone.

M1

Hi Peteena, don't be afraid.   A lot of the drugs used for dementia behaviors have that same "black box" warning, but adverse events are actually pretty rare--and the fact is, we just don't have a lot of other options.  It's definitely worth a try and may improve quality of life for her and everyone else.  It can always be discontinued if it doesn't help.

I also struggle with a partner in MC who very much doesn't want to be there and resents the loss of independence.  She doesn't act out towards staff--unfortunately just towards me, because she so wants me to get her out of there.  

M1

ps that's a beautiful--and hilarious--kitten in your picture.

Peteena

Thank you all for your replies.  Mom has been in MC for 10 months. She is pretty sharp at times, so she sees how very old and out of it many of her neighbors are and I know it frustrates her. I work full time plus half a day Saturdays - so I visit mostly every other night and most Saturdays for an hour or two to charge her flip phone (she doesn’t really know how to use but has friends that try to call her.) I sit with her, watch TV, get her to drink some Gatorade. She was pissed tonight when I got there. She hates that she can’t go out herself. Taking her out by myself is rare, but she does have a wonderful male friend who visits and takes her out for a few hours once or twice a month.  She just resents being locked in there, and I’ve got no other options. She won’t be happy ever. I wish she could have stayed in AL.

I may just have to put that Abilify in her next pill box that I fill. She will be suspicious and already claims they “drug her in there”. I’m so worn out from the stress of dealing with my mother having this horrible disease. She is so strong she will outlive me. I hate this so much.

Thank you for chiming in. I read this forum when I need support often.

P.S. M1- that lil’ kitten in my profile is a bitty plastic kitty I got in a gift shop. I thought it was adorable too!

P

JJ401

I may just have to put that Abilify in her next pill box that I fill. She will be suspicious and already claims they “drug her in there”.  

You are still filling her pill box? Are they relying on her to independently take the pills? I’ve never seen that in memory care. In the memory cares that I am familiar with, no resident has independent access to any pills. All pills are dispensed by a specific medication staff member.. 

Residents in memory care having access to any meds seems like a recipe for disaster to me. 

Peteena

Oh no…..I fill a months worth of her prescriptions in plastic cassettes and the CNA give her the meds every day. I will be adding a new little pill for the AM dose that she will surely be suspicious of. Never told her what the Sertraline is for - so I may need some kind of fiblet to make up. 

I just hate going to visit and seeing her so mad at being there. She would try to walk on a highway and “find somewhere by herself” if she got out. I feel so guilty but she would be so unsafe on her own. Never mind her trying to take her own meds when she can’t recall what just happened or what time/day/month/year it is!

P