Tums for the tummy or worse

Buggsroo

i came downstairs today to a big humongous mess of feces in the sink. I have been doing actually quite well in the last week or so. However, this was epic. I stared in absolute shock, then I glanced in the cupboard and saw that the Tums bottle was empty and I realized my husband had eaten all of them. Hence the cleanup in aisle 4 scenario.

He has been getting worse, asking the same two things over and over. He also wakes me up every five minutes or so in the morning. Besides the lack of sleep, I am now having trouble understanding him now. 

I am looking for a long term care home for him, but this has ratcheted up the search. I also know PSWs go through because I am doing the same job.

 I see new people commenting on this site and ruefully nod when reading their entries. 

Ed1937

OMG, Buggs. How much more can you take? I'm praying you can find a good place for him very soon. I'm sorry.

Buggsroo

Came downstairs this morning and husband had eaten all the cookies, cakes and poured out a packet of jello in the sink. I was totally gobsmacked. Now I have to go and replace all of it and keep the food down the basement. Not looking forward to diaper duty today. On top of that biting himself and making loud noises. Long term care homes on speed dial.

Cherjer

Just wondering if you need to keep an eye on him so this does not happen. Does he have free reign of your house. or is it possible to lock some doors? I know everyone has different sleeping arrangements. We are still in same bedroom and bed but I always have our door closed (not locked) but he cannot leave as the door too hard to open. This way I know exactly what he is doing and usually will walk around our bedroom and then go back in bed. My DH is in  late stage 6 so I always have him in my site.

Buggsroo

Thanks Cherjer, sadly the husband does this very early in the morning when I am asleep. I have moved all the cookies and cakes down the basement and have carefully hidden them. They are not visible to the naked eye, so intellectually he won’t be able to find them. I have the rest of the food down here as well. I realize that I have to keep all the food hidden. The upstairs fridge is now almost empty except for the condiments and many cartons of almond milk which he drinks. He doesn’t drink water except to take pills, I love water. I couldn’t live without it. It really is strange how the dementia brain operates.

Cherjer

It seems like you are doing everything possible, Buggs to keep your sanity.

dayn2nite2

Okay, you absolutely HAVE to get some relief from this.  At this point, if there is a clean facility with a bed within a 2-hour drive it's time to place him there.

Pat6177

I have to agree with D2N2. You need to make touring long term care places a priority and do ASAP. If that means taking time off from work, so be it. Set yourself a deadline for having your list of 5 places. Nothing will happen re placement until you do that. For your sanity and his safety, you need to focus and get it done.

Buggsroo

Thanks all. I have two appointments this week, one next week and another one to set up. Yes I know I have to get the ball rolling. I have been phoning places and setting up appointments. As soon as I get the five places in line I can get the process going. Here in Canada, one goes through social workers to get their partners placed. I admit I did procrastinate but not now, that is for sure. Yes I have reached my limit.

Jo C.

Omigosh Buggs; enough already for sure!   Not enough words to say how sorry I am.  I know things are different in Canada and a Social Worker must approve and make placement happen, but this has really gone over the top.   I do not know how in the world you are able to continue.  Is there not a way to speed placement up when circumstances exist to warrant it and this sees to be one of those times?  Can you increase the speed in evaluating the five facilities you are supposed to screen so the Social Worker can get to work on your behalf?

Does Canada have anything like respite care in order to give you a break for a couple of weeks?   It would give you much more time to complete your facility screening and get the Social Worker going as well as giving you some much needed rest and freedom not to wake up to all and awful sundry all the time.  And the sink again and again and again . . . . oh my.   If they do have respite, surely you must fit the category of need; burnout is not pretty and it sure is rife in your home as well as having a monumental high acuity of care with your husband.

Another option may possibly be, if such a setting is available in Canada, would be one of involuntary placement in GeroPsych to get him assessment on the 24 hour continuum and then adjust his meds while watching for effectiveness and side effects.   If that is doable, you could let the Psychiatric Social Worker know you are not going to be taking him home as you can no longer provide such a high acuity of care over the 24 hour day.

Just trying to think of a way to get you some much needed assistance.   I really feel terrible that you may still me a month or two or even more before placement actually happens.  I have had a feeling that your DH may even do better in such a setting as he would have increased socialization, activities to watch or engage in, and have multiple 24 hour care staff.

Will hold out hope that all gets set into place soon.

J.

dayn2nite2

I am absolutely serious when I tell you to write down the names of 5 facilities in your area and turn it in.  No visit, no research.  This is an intolerable situation.