New to here : Wishing all of you (and your loved ones) the best

timon08

Hi everyone,

My FIL (father in law) has dementia.  I believe it is VD, if i recall.  

Sadly, he has been violent for the past 1-1.5 years with my MIL.  She is the primary caregiver and both are not working.  

Is there a FAQ or section where I can quickly read up on that relates to:

- where is the "best" memory care facilities near me

- what other factors should i consider re: MF facilities other than cost

- Medicare coverage that could circumvent my in-laws paying $ out of pocket

- is there a way to stop him from being violent? It is taking a toll on my wife and I feel helpless

Thank you. I am praying for all of you.

harshedbuzz

timon08 wrote:

Hi everyone,

My FIL (father in law) has dementia.  I believe it is VD, if i recall.  

Sadly, he has been violent for the past 1-1.5 years with my MIL.  She is the primary caregiver and both are not working.  

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your need to be here but glad you found the site.

Is there a FAQ or section where I can quickly read up on that relates to:

There is not FAQ, but the "solutions" tab covers a lot of common issues that come up. 

- where is the "best" memory care facilities near me

A local support group near you along with word of mouth is the best way to get a short list-- then you need to tour. Ahead of us placing dad, I toured a dozen places and brought mom to tour my top 3 picks.

- what other factors should i consider re: MF facilities other than cost

There's a lot to consider--

How well trained and experienced the staff are

What the monthly fee actually covers- some places have bait'n'switch tiers of care while other tend to have a set fee

Under what circumstances would a resident be asked to leave (critical for someone with challenging behaviors)

Do they have Medicaid beds and is their an expectation of a period of self-pay of 2-3 years before converting to Medicaid

- Medicare coverage that could circumvent my in-laws paying $ out of pocket

Medicare does not pay for long term care. Unless they have a LTC policy, they will be paying out of pocket or will need to qualify for Medicaid. A certified elder law attorney can help your family understand Medicaid planning in your state. 

- is there a way to stop him from being violent? It is taking a toll on my wife and I feel helpless  

He needs to be seen by a geriatric psychiatrist. If he is aggressive, it would be best to have him transported to a geripsych hospital next time he acts out. They can admit him and do a trial of medication to dial back the aggression. If he needs placement, the social worker there can assist the family in finding an appropriate placement. 

If he's aggressive or violent, you will need to address that because no MCF will accept him if that is his usual behavior.

HB

Thank you. I am praying for all of you.

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