That darn cat…

mommyandme (m&m)

I had to put one of my mother’s cats down on Monday.  Thought she had an abscessed tooth or something kind of minor. Turns out it was a cancerous mass under her tongue and she was probably in extreme pain. Also lost quite a bit of weight apparently. She was an older kitty so the day was coming somewhere down the line, but wasn’t expecting it this week.  What is a real blessing is she jumped on my moms hospital bed the day before, which she has never done since getting the hospital bed, and got some last pets from mom, even took a picture. This event sent me into profound sadness I also wasn’t expecting.  Hate losing pets but ugh, she wasn’t really mine.  I hate being a baby.  I’ve been crying easily for a couple of days.  I guess I attribute it to the fact that both cats were an integral part of my moms move up to CO.  She agreed to come in her dementia way because I said we can bring two, not three, cats with us. All the prep on getting this particular feral scaredy cat on the plane with us, amongst other things, was daunting for me. We got er done and even did some great cat therapy to bring her out of her kitty cat shell.  She probably had the best last two years of good kitty life cause of it. 

Oh well,  not sure why I’m sharing this kind of insignificant event in this battle with Alzheimer’s but the sadness is real. I’m better today thank goodness.  Maybe I can put some makeup on eventually today.  

Also, maybe more pertinent to our journey, I’ve put a call into the hospice service for a new evaluation.  Since Saturday moms more lethargic with slurred “word salad” and not feeding herself.  My caregiver aid said since the last time she saw her, a week ago, she’s quite different.  So we’ll see. 

Thanks for reading.  Hope you all have some sort of peace today.  

GothicGremlin

I'm so sorry about the loss of your cat.  Whether or not she was yours, she was an integral member of your household, and besides, she owned you, and not the other way around.  But you know that. 

Losing her is not an insignificant event, it's a fairly large one (in my opinion). And it looms large in Alzheimer's caregiving too. You didn't say whether your mom is aware of your kitty cat's death, but if she is, it could have an effect on her.  I know in my experience that's how it's gone for Peggy. She lost her cat, and it was shortly after that Peggy moved from stage 5 to stage 6. 

You've got a lot on your plate right now, give yourself some space.

I hope you get the hospice evaluation for your mom.

mommyandme (m&m)

Thanks Gothic… my mom has no idea the cat is gone and will never know.  At least her other cat is still a comfort to her, I think.  

The other thing I’m anxious and losing sleep over is the new caregiver I’ve been trying.  I don’t think it’s going to work out, hate this part too. 

SusanB-dil

Hi m&m - I totally agree with GothicG - losing a household pet is not insignificant, as they really are part of the family.  

Sorry for that loss, and then having to fret over caregivers besides - not fun at all.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

So sorry to hear about a family pet passing, even if she wasn't directly yours. We recently lost our 19year old cat back in February and we all miss her terribly. Mom for the most part doesn't notice the absence, very much content with our spry 3 year old.

What a true blessing the cat was able to get some last pets in before she passed. Cats are so good at hiding pain, what with also being prey animals. 

I hope you can also get a desirable result from the hospice evaluation. I'm sure that would be a weight off ypur shoulders in one way or another. This disease keeps marching on sadly, not even stopping for the loss of a beloved pet huh? 

((Hugs))

M1

You don't have to explain a bit m&m.  The cat, and your mom's decline?  Nuff said.  Glad they had that last little bit of time together.

BassetHoundAnn

Hello, M&M, I'm so sorry about the loss of you and your mother's cat. No, it's not an insignificant event. It's one more piece of your mother's life and her loves which is gone. That's the thing about Alz, it chips away slowly at a loved one's life, taking it away piece by cruel piece, stealing away all the things they loved in life slowly, all their passions. And all those losses, no matter how small, get harder to bear, harder to grieve. I cried when I found a snapshot of my mom's cat, who died shortly before her dementia started. I had never known the cat. Like your mom's it had been a feral, and it hid from everyone except my mom. But I heard all about him from mom for years, all about how he was loved and doted upon. And just like all the other bits of her life he was gone. These things are so very hard. Hugs to you and your mom!

May flowers

Losing a pet is so hard, they become part of our lives (the journey to get her here adds to that bond). And since she was your mom’s, it is like another part of her life gone. It was that way over the years with my FIL, even losing things that were minor, hit me especially hard because it was still such a part of who he was.

Sorry for the new decline, and I hope the hospice agency evaluation works out

mommyandme (m&m)

Thank you all for your kind words and support. 

Mom took an upturn after a week of lows. Hospice denied service again, which is fine and I understand.  I’m going to take advantage of the palliative care service they offer as soon as we can get that set up.  

Sincerely, thank you!