update on Peewee

ladypeewee

Saturday night Peewee slid out bed and I couldn't get him off the floor.he laid there for an hour and half. I finally called 911thanks to this site I remembered someone said that an UTI would make him more confused. So a trip to the ER and 4 days in the Hospital we find out Peewee has lung cancer. However we don't know what stage he is or if it's treatable. However he says he will not do Chemotherapy or Radiation therapy. Any thoughts about this I would be Grateful for all comments.

sunnydove

Hi Lady PW. So sorry you're having to go through this. It must have been so scary to have your loved one on the floor and not be able to get him up. I'm sure you're reeling from his new diagnosis. But as my mom goes into stage 7, I can't help but think that a cancer diagnosis could be such a blessing in disguise. In the past the memory loss has been all in her head. But now it's becoming physical like forgetting to swallow, not feeling cues to go to the bathroom, etc. The end part of this disease so sad and undignified and can be so drawn out. 

Sending you love and strength. Thank you for being there for him. 

ladyzetta

Dear Lady,

Thanks for the update and I am so sorry that cancer was found. My friend passed away from lung cancer a few months ago she underwent a lot of uncomfortable treatments for about 4 years and still the terrible outcome. It is so hard to say what a person should do in any case. I guess it was me and I saw a livable comfortable future I would try anything. But in my friends case it upset me to think of how much she went through, and the outcome was the same. 

You know what's best for Peewee so listen to what he tells you. Your both in my prayers.  Hugs to you both. Zetta 

Rick4407

Hello Lady Peewee, its nice to see you popping up here again.  I followed your posts in the years past.  

My sister and my mother in law both had lung cancer.  My sister refused all treatment and died after 4 months.  She was under the care of hospice and died quite comfortably.  That was what she wanted.  My mother in law accepted only radiation and refused all other treatments.  She was given six months to live and in fact lived for over 5 years quite comfortably.  Again, she was under hospice care the last months and was quite comfortable.

I was given radiation for prostrate cancer.  I would never make that choice again, it was very destructive on my body taking over a year for the immediate effects to subside and I still have residual damage.  

Treatment choices are complex and other issues like dementia really complicate the issue.  At this point my DW probably has melanoma and is in early stage 7 of dementia.  Treatment of her melanoma is not even a consideration.  My lesson from other posters over the years is that the issue is quality of life not quantity.  I know where her journey ends, I want that trip to be as positive as possible for her.   Your decision is to do whatever you think in best based on your knowledge of Peewee and your feelings.  Whatever you decide is the best decision!

Good luck Rick

JJ401

I am so sorry. The hits just keep coming.

Lung cancer. 30 years ago my first husband died of lung cancer. Not much was available then. He went to a nationally recognized cancer center, joined a trial, and had surgery and radiation. 

My husband was young. We had minor children. He hoped the trial treatments would give him time. It was brutal. From my experience, I’d say to respect his decision on chemo and radiation (as hard as that will be). There are immunology treatments available now. But, they have side effects too. 

He has dementia. Even if he agreed to the treatment would he be able to cooperate with the required regime? Is the agony of the treatment worth the additional time with increasing dementia? (There is a reason people use the term chemo brain.) 

I am so sorry. The decisions you have to make will be very hard. There are no right answers. There are no wrong answers. There is only the answer you decide. Decide what you think it best and don’t look back.

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Mint

Lady I’m so very sorry.  What ever you are comfortable with is ok.

Come here and talk anytime you need to.

harshedbuzz

ladypeewee-

I am so sorry to hear your update.

You've been a member a long time which means Peewee is likely approaching the later stages of this disease if he isn't already. I would hesitate to treat this aggressively-- under those circumstances. I would ask the doctors what treatment would look like for him and what happens if you elect to do nothing beyond engaging hospice to keep him comfortable.

My friend's mom developed breast cancer in the middle stages of dementia. Her mom had stopped mammography at 80 declaring she would not elect to treat it at that age having nursed friends and sisters through it, so my friend honored her wish not to treat. With the help her internist and later hospice her mom was able to spend her last months comfortably at home.

HB

M1

Oh Lady, I too am sorry for this, but I agree completely with the other posters that I would not treat it other than for comfort.  He will qualify for hospice immediately, and that it the route I would choose.  My partner has had an indolent but incurable lymphoma for eleven years.  It is inevitable that it will get aggressive at some point if she doesn't die of something else.  If that happens, we will not treat it and let her go.  She doesn't even remember that she has it, and the last few visits with the oncologist were hard, she would ask why she had to have blood drawn or even go for the visit.  It was clear it was time to back off.

Jo C.

Dear Lady; I had been thinking of you and was so glad to see your name, but then the news of Peewee's new diagnosis was stunning.  I am so very heartfelt sorry.  This must be quite  a shock for you coming unexpectedly out of the blue; such changes can be difficult to process.

You have had a very long, complex journey and have been a stalwart and brave person in all that you have had to face and manage by yourself.  You have not yet been given full information about all of this for which you can make the best decision; hopefully you will soon have that information provided to you.

While it may be difficult to not do advanced medical treatment and all that means which can be very strenuous physically in side effects, it may be helpful to speak with Peewee's primary care doctor or dementia specialist if he has one to help put you in the frame of mind for what you would be facing with treatment which can be grueling depending on what is felt is the treatment approach, and at what quality of life cost IF it was able to give much of a positive response at all; and with all of this on top of Peewee's advancing dementia.   You are a wise person and will know best when you have all the information fully set out for you; it is all about the quality of Peewee's life and what he would be able to tolerate.

If treatment is not the best option for Peewee, for me at this point, I would probably move to provide the best comfort care that can be and would indeed call Hospice in to assess Peewee.  They can provide much oversight and care.  If he is not ill enough to have Hospice as yet, they will let you know AND they will indeed come in on service as soon as they can at no cost to you and no cost for any equipment such as a hospital bed, etc.  They will provide an RN, a Social Worker, a bath aide two to three times a week, and a chaplain if you wish.

If necessary they also provide their services if the patient is in a care facility. They accept all insurances and do not turn anyone away for inability to pay even where there is no insurance; they also cover a lot of Medicare and Medicaid patients. Cost will not be a factor for their care service.

Lady, I will be thinking of you and Peewee, please let us know how you are and how things are going; you have been part of this big electronic family for so long and we certainly do care.

Big hug and warmest of thoughts being sent your way,

J.

Ed1937

So sorry to hear about Peewee. FWIW, my wife was a registered nurse, and she had breast cancer twice. She also refused any treatment like that, but she did have surgery. This was all pre dementia. It never returned, but that doesn't mean Peewee will be as lucky, or even that he should have surgery. There is much wisdom to say to just let it be, while being kept comfortable. I'm not sure how stable he is cognitively, but it might be his call. Whatever he/you choose, I wish the best to both of you.

toolbeltexpert

Lady I am so sorry to hear about the latest troubles. I can't add to what the others have said. Other than I will be praying for you both. 

Stewart

mommyandme (m&m)

I’m so sorry for all these struggles.  My first thought was if he’s cognitive enough to really express his treatment desires then I’d honor his wishes. If he isn’t able to truly understand, that’s another reason not to seek treatment.  As others have said, his life and body may be extremely burdened and then extended for an outcome that is worse than leaving more quickly from cancer.  

Thank you for sharing, my thoughts of comfort and peace are being sent your way. 

jfkoc

thank yu for the update....I hope you will continue to post