how to write a diary

prov1kenobi

My wife and I have been living in my brother’s house for 3 months or so. He caught covid (i think for the second time) towards the beginning of August 2022. while in the hospital he became very agitated and ultimately was diagnosed with dementia. Since that time, his dementia has gotten worse and worse. 

i am just setting the stage here, as I would like to tell my story about my family’s journey. I would like to try to tell people what this is like, 

i would appreciate some ideas about writing a diary

thanks

Suka9

I started a diary on my computer using Microsoft Word after my wife was diagnosed a month or so ago.  I have been writing something almost every day and capturing observations that my family hopefully will appreciate someday and I think might be useful for readers to learn from my experience later if I share it.  I've been writing in past tense at the end of the day.  I'm also putting in pictures which makes the file get large fast.

Ed1937

I've never written anything like that, but I think it can be useful not only so others can see what is happening, but also so you can have a timeline of progression for the doctors to see.

nancyj194

Hi prov1kenobi,

I also have been keeping a diary on Word. This dates back to around 2013. I've used two different laptops, so need to bridge them together somehow. 

Recently I started reading back and find the progression thought provoking, sad, and informative. So far the beginning stages have been the most stressful. He's mellowed out a lot, but his decline is difficult to watch.  

I hope our children read this one day.  

N

mrahope

I have kept a journal of sorts on my own computer.  I have no thought of it ever being read while I am alive, but somehow it simply helps me to get it out on paper.  Sometimes, if it's just you and your spouse, you wonder after a while whether you are crazy or he is.  It also shows progression, since I've been doing it since 2019.  I started it just as I retired.

Lately, I've kept an "incident report" document, too.  It kinda is about stuff that my DH does that "just isn't right".  It also may be useful if/when medical professionals ask me about how he is at home.

FWIW, no one knows about either of these documents and this is the first (and maybe only) time I've ever admitted to having them.

prov1kenobi

Suka, nice dog picture. Do you mush ? i live smack dab in the middle of Alaska….mushing capitol of thevworld

Last Dance

 I kept a diary both on my computer and written in notebooks I did it mostly to retain my sanity. however, after my wife passed away the next day I threw away everything that reminded me of her Alzheimer’s  I got rid of her depends her medication and I even got rid of the notebooks. However, the writings that I put in my computer are still there, one day I opened up the file just to look at it and it was sad and heartbreaking, so I just closed it. there are days when I thought I should have put this into some kind of a booklet form and gave it to others that might help them on their journey but then again it was our life and I'm not sure I wanted to share some of the sad things with others. I do think that Journaling helps removes some of the stress but I also feel that taking care of a parent a brother or a sister is easier then taken care of your spouse because not only are you losing them you're also losing your support system.

 

Leaderoftheband

My DW was recently diagnosed and I believe I want to start a journal. Don’t know if anyone will ever read except me, but the journal will be for me. Suggestions for handwritten as the day goes by or laptop at the end of the day.  Don’t want to forget things

Gig Harbor

I don’t journal at all. If I did write about my husband’s journey I would not go back and read it ever. Once he and I get through this part of our lives I want to move on. My daughter has been part of this journey and I don’t think she would want to relive it through my writing. I know that the possibility of getting AD is something she thinks about and reading about it would make it seem more possible.

Jo C.

Out of need I kept a log of what was at hand on my computer. This was because my LOs behaviors were so florid and over the moon and waxed and waned always changing, and I needed to recall what to communicate to the specialist when we went for appointments which were fairly far apart.

Much later, after my LO had died some time earlier, I came across that dreadful journal, it  was highly negative and really brought up significant upsetting negative feelings. It was like a shadow crossing me.  I deleted the journal on the spot never wanting to see it again.  Far better to remember the better days in a life lived for all the years prior to the throes of the dementia issues.  No value at all to keeping that and certainly not a good remembrance of my LO.

J.

IWBH1990

 About 10 months before I placed my DW in a MCF, I started a “Journey” of sorts on an Excel spreadsheet (kept on my laptop).  It had a column for date. It had a column for general description of the day. Another column for anxiety level (1-10) for the day. My DW struggled some with constipation so I added a column for bowel movements when she started a new Med that may cause constipation. I added a column for potty accidents when she started to go the incontinence route. Lastly, I added a column when she started a new symptom (as part of the 7 stages of Alzheimer’s) so I could see how far back she started a new phase. The nice thing about a using a spreadsheet was I could add columns when needed. It was valuable when I would talk to the neurologist about what was going on with DW and helped me document why I thought it was time to go on anxiety meds.

Famcal

I started to keep a journal describing my wife's memory issues but decided it was too time consuming.  Instead I decided to just count the number of memory issues I observed each day and keep the totals in a simple spreadsheet.  My idea was that if the number increased over time that would give me an idea of how the disease was progressing.  In the first 30 days there were 260 memory issues. Things like ice cream or potato chips put in the frig, repeating the same stories, repeating the same questions all counted as a memory issue.

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RobertsBrown

How to write a diary, or anything:

Make it a habit to write regularly.  Every day is good, but whatever the period you choose, try to be consistent.

Writing is writing, and editing is editing.  We all tend to do both at once, but you will benefit from leaving the editing for later when you are on a roll.  When the words are flowing out of you, just let them pour out. Putting out volume that you may end up paring away or eliminating is part of the process of writing.  Remember that doing is learning, and the writer you are in a month or a year or ten will be much more experienced than the writer you are today.

Just do it.

...and if you using a computer or laptop, hit 'save' a lot.  Nothing is more annoying than putting out 30 minutes of brilliance and then dumping it by mistake.

nancyj194

RobertsBrown, as I re-read the comments, I noticed I only said I had been keeping a journal, not how I did it.  Your comments were great reminders on how to do it best. Especially the saving part so the info doesn't all disappear by mistake.  Uff

I also find that writing a journal helps me to "get it off my chest" when I don't want to bother our son with the latest things that have happened.  Some things he does not need to hear nor does he probably want to.  Once I write it down, I am okay to move on. 

Typically I don't edit unless it is something glaring.  I only edit emails and posts like this.  

N