Holiday confusion(1)

Bob in LW

My SO has severe short term memory loss, which I have learned to deal with.  We are fortunate that she has not progressed to other forms of dementia, and I often remind her that her "glass is half full, not half empty".  This year I am beginning to see confusion over the holidays.  I needed to explain to her several times that we were going to her son's home for Thanksgiving, even though she has done it for at least the last 40 years.

Then, last Saturday, we put up our Christmas tree, decorated it, and placed decorations around the house. On Sunday, she asked me if we are going to take the tree down.  I had to explain to her that we just put it up the day before and that Christmas is nearly a month away.  This morning she again asked me if we are going to take the tree down.  To help her get oriented, I'm going to put a Christmas countdown calendar in a prominent place in our home where she will see it several times a day.  I am also thinking that I may need to create countdown calendars for other events throughout the year.

If anyone else here has dealt with the same thing, I would like to hear about it.

Ed1937

Hello Bob. I think the Christmas countdown might be a good idea. If it doesn't work, maybe just tell her that you decided to leave it up a little longer this year??

I wouldn't mention going to the son's house until it's time to go. Make it as easy as you can on yourself.

Janco

Your SO and my husband sound similar.  Hubs is subject to short-term memory loss, forgetting we are going, who we are going to see, etc.  Patience is the key, though I am sure I am preaching to the choir.  I get snippy sometimes but am trying to control that.  I can only control my behavoir, not his. I am grateful that he hasn't presented with other forms of demetia.  This message board has been so helpful, seeing all the people that are in our position and getting through the days, with a modicum of hope and cheerfulness!

Jarmac

My SO is also suffering from short term memory loss. I feel blessed that his diagnosis is not more severe. We never used to argue and now it is common. When he gets angry he says “he is moving out”, but not tonight. Next morning, he doesn’t remember the argument or the statement that he is leaving. He can get on a thought or subject and never let it go. I dread what is to come. His medical care is through the VA and he refuses to get a referral to another doctor. Claims when I tell him he is forgetful, I am trying to make him think he is crazy. So, I just agree with everything now. I didn’t sign up for this and my daughters are concerned for me. The forgetfulness can be stressful, but the anger and accusations are much harder to deal with.

Ed1937

Jarmac wrote:

We never used to argue and now it is common. 

Jarmac, if you don't mind my asking, why are you arguing now? We might be able to offer suggestions.

Bob in LW

To update my original post- the Christmas countdown calendar seems to be effective because my SO is no longer asking if we are going to take the tree down every day.  I frequently point to the calendar with a little wreath which moves closer to December 25 every day and she can better visualize it, since she cannot remember if we have celebrated the holiday yet.