MIL with EOAD moving to hospice, seeking advice

CBS62122

We just received news that my mother in law is now in late stage of her early onset alz. diagnosis and her doctor recommended we start hospice care. She was diagnosed 8 years ago at age 61. we moved her from her home to a memory care facility last winter, where she has been thriving (loved participating in activities, made friends who enjoyed daily walks with her) until recently. She has been rapidly declining cognitively in the last 6 weeks or so, is very agitated, anxious, aggressive and withdrawn. She's lost almost 30 lbs in last 5 months, 8lb of which have been in the last 2 weeks. She doesn't seem interested in food anymore. Any suggestions to help her increase her appetite or increase her calorie intake? 

Furthermore, do you have suggestions as to how I can best support my husband (her son) during this time as we begin hospice care? I am at a loss. We all thought we had much more time with her and feel like this decline has been sharp and came on very quickly. My MIL is divorced and her ex-husband, my husband's father is not in the picture in regards to my MIL's disease or care. Thank you for your help. 

LaurenB

Good evening.  I'm not sure what the physicians or nurses would would offer her in terms of appetite stimulants while under hospice care.  I would try to offer her foods that she likes or has  preference for in small quantities more frequently.  This is a tough stage to be going through.  I'm glad that you are here to support her, yourself, and by doing so, are supporting your husband already.

-Lauren

mommyandme (m&m)

Get hospice care in as soon as you can.  They will be helpful to all of you.  She may have an uptick and come back to you again.  Either way they’ll be a huge support.  

Welcome to this place, but sorry for the struggles that bring you here. 

DawnOfANewDay

We are in the same stage  My mom eats maybe 5 bites a day.  

Her body is dying and she doesn't need the food and is probably unable to digest it.  

We continue to frequently offer her foods that are her favorites.  Sometimes she eats a bite or two, but that is it.  

At this stage, she enjoys chocolate milk something I have never seen her drink before, so we keep that on hand.

Ed1937

CBS62122 wrote:

Furthermore, do you have suggestions as to how I can best support my husband (her son) during this time as we begin hospice care? 

I'm sorry you, your husband and his mother have to deal with this. It is hard to offer any particular suggestions on supporting him, but make sure that he understands that hospice does not necessarily mean that end of life is just around the corner. Some people have been with hospice for two years or more. Probably most people are under the assumption that hospice means the end will be expected within 6 months for acceptance. This is no longer the case. Some people "graduate" from hospice, (meaning they improve) and are taken off hospice services. I'm sorry it's so hard.