The small things at MC.

ghphotog

Does the staff help with the small things like flossing, brushing teeth, hair, washing hands. Pouring a cup of coffee, helping to find the bathroom in the middle of the night? My DW can't find the bathrooms in the house we have lived in for 20 years.

DJnAZ

Theoretically, yes. The problem the staff has, especially with my wife, is getting her to do the things you mention. I don't know if she doesn't want to do them or she doesn't want a stranger "helping" her. I'm a bit concerned a number of hygiene things are not being taken care of. Staff has told me she absolutely refuses to let anyone wash her hair. I've tried with no success.

Now that she is on Medicare her insurance provides a private NP who sees her every 7-10 days. There is also a CNA who assists the NP. They are doing their best to help (or convince) her they are there to help. I hope this could be the answer to getting personal things done.

ghphotog

Thank you for replying. It's probably hit and miss a lot with those small things. Dread that day but hopefully by then she won't know what's going on anyway.

Bathing and especially washing her hair is always filled with drama.
I wonder what it is about washing hair that so many with dementia are so reluctant to do.

Lills

My DH didn't like to have his hair washed in the shower either.  I bought a shower visor so the water wouldn't get in his eyes and  had him hold a dry wash cloth over his eyes in case.  Worked like a charm.

toolbeltexpert

Ghphotog where my wife is and I have heard others mention there are 3 levels of care. At each different level there are more adl's included. Its about 500 $ difference from 1 to 3. My dw is level one, they help her find her room and her bathroom, they help her to shower and set clothes out in the morning. I help her brush her teeth, I check her legs and communicate things dw might need.

Showering was an issue at home and is here, washing her hair even more so. They have found she is more receptive to early morning showers and she seems to cooperate, I am glad they kept trying till they figured it out. I would always try in the evening because that was when she always shower since we were married. Go figure maybe dw showered in the morning when she was younger? I just never thought to try a different time of day.

Ed1937

Lills wrote:

 I bought a shower visor so the water wouldn't get in his eyes and  had him hold a dry wash cloth over his eyes in case.  Worked like a charm.

I think that is well worth a try. Some people might feel as though they will drown if water is running over their face. Be as gentle as possible.

Joe C.

At DW’s MC the staff assist with bathing, dressing, feeding, toileting, etc. Although they do try to assistant with brushing teeth, I don’t think there is anyway they could get floss into her mouth with losing a finger or two.

toolbeltexpert

Thanks Joe I laughed. Probably true with my wife. I used to stick my finger in my wife's mouth when she yawned, one day she said I was gonna draw back a bloody stump. Never did that again.

Vitruvius

If you have seen any of my other recent posts you know that I am an advocate of MCF placement when the time is right (if you can swing it), and before the caregiver succumbs to the stress of it all.  That said here's what I have experienced with DW's MCF.

The MCF that my DW is at is very attentive and helps with all the things you list and many more.  I have to give my DW's MCF high marks for their care of her. I visit every other day and check her general hygiene and have not had any concerns.

For a few things there is a difference between what the MCF does and what I did at home and it's more a matter of degree.  One of the few things I can think of is flossing for instance, I flossed my DW's teeth using those little dental floss picks (they work great BTW).  DW was always very cooperative about this.  I bought a big bag of them and gave them to the MCF along with an electric toothbrush.  They do use them but I think I did it more diligently.  The MCF does have a dental technician come once every three months to do a through cleaning for a moderate extra cost.  Same with hair care and caring for finger and toe nails, every two months on site.

They also do so much more.  Of course they administer medications including eye drops, and generally monitor her medical condition.  They communicate directly with her doctors about any issues, after having received my permission to do so.  They guide her to activities, and walk her in the gardens every day.  They give her things to keep her busy, like folding things (mostly just fidgets with them) or magazines to look at (she can no longer read and often browses at them upside down).  They guide her to sit with her new friends she has made there.  DW now often needs hand feeding as she goes in and out of being able to do it herself (she's plenty agile enough to do it herself, she just seems to forget how sometimes). They do all of this without an issue as part of the base cost.