Here one minute gone the next

toolbeltexpert

Well I am guessing this is the beginning of the end of Dw knowing who I am. It has happened twice in the last couple weeks where I am sitting with my dw and she is having a conversation with my sister-in-law and I am sitting directly across from her and she suddenly says where is stewart. Of course my eyes make direct contact and she says again where did stewart go?  It takes about 30 seconds and suddenly she reconnects and feels bad. Her sister has witnessed this several times, but I guess this is how this all begins or should I say ends where she won't come out of the fog and recognize me. 

This has happened a few times before earlier this year, but now more frequent and closer together. I guess I am wonder if anyone else experienced the moments when the they suddenly were just gone like that.

I am ok because I know the losses are just gonna keep coming, I guess I am just a detail guy, I track the little thing always looking for patterns trying to understand. I guess that comes from being a electronic technician and mechanic. Having to understand why something wasn't working properly. My close friends know my favorite saying,"have you read and understood the owners operating manual?"  That's me, only I can't fix this! I can only understand things are gonna get worse. 

Stewart

Ed1937

Stewart, I'm sorry. I know this is exceptionally hard. Look below for a thread "When they don't know you". It's an eye opener on how to handle this.

JC5

I haven’t yet experienced this step with DH and honestly don’t know how I’d feel. Like you I am a detail person, retired math teacher and always looked for the details to work out a problem whether it be in the classroom or in my personal life. A+ B = C right? I’m Learning that this doesn’t apply to this disease. I wish I had some advice to give you but the article that was suggested sounds like it would be a good read. Checking it out myself. All the best to you.

Just Bill

Far and away the hardest part of watching this disease progress is watching this disease progress. Being a machinist I pick up on details and patterns too. It is like I am on the shore and she is on a raft at sea. I can see her and talk to her but she is out of reach. Everyday she keeps drifting farther and farther away. Sometimes it will be a small drift or a big drift sometimes she will hold the pattern for a while but she is drifting. I was really depressed one day thinking about the situation and what brought me out of it was the thought I would rather she was alive and goofy than dead. Her death is coming and I will deal with it then. While she is alive I will keep celebrating she is alive now. Every positive moment with her I am recording in my mind preparing for the day she is gone. Right now in this moment she is alive. Impaired but alive. Knowing what is coming I am happy for that. She comes into and out focus with reality, but when she is in focus I still truly enjoy her company even though I have to remind her who I am now and then. Find happiness where you can Stewart as long as she is alive and in semi focus it is there.