Tough week continuing....

dhyink

My husband got placed in a supportive nursing facility last Friday where he could recover from his fall and get stronger.    Today, the facility social worker said that they are going to discharge him because he was combative and kicked people when they tried to change his diapers.  And he was inappropriately touching the female CNAs.  They said they talked to him and he said yes when they asked him if he touched the CNAs inappropriately. I responded that he was almost nonverbal at this point, and doesn't really understand what people are asking.  At this point, he says yes to almost everything.  I asked if he wanted to eat rotten eggs and he says yes.  

When I left him yesterday, he had a low O2 sat, rapid shallow breathes and didn't seem very present.  I commented that he had not been doing the prescribed breathing exercises and seemed to be out of it.   I don't think he understands where he is or why the facility staff is changing him.   I would think that the facility would know how to work with a dementia patient with a recent head injury to avoid combative responses and how to redirect inappropriate touching.  

So now he is coming home on Friday.  I am by myself.  He is double incontinent and can't stand on his own.  I am hiring a transport team to bring him to the house.  From there, god knows what I'll do.  I will hire home health workers for part of the day, but fear that they too will leave if he is difficult.  I am so depressed that I can barely care for myself, well along a spouse who has instantly gone from moderate dementia to severe dementia.    

The nursing home social worker/case manager seems more interested in kicking my husband out than helping us find solutions.  And all I want to do is sleep.  

Twin Mom

I am hoping someone with better information will soon read your post and give you some ideas.  However, I do know I would not be transporting him home.  If he is really still with medical issues, I would probably send him back to the ER and let them figure out how to deal with this.

dhyink

I just got off of the phone with NC Dementia alliance and they said the same thing.  They said that I should refuse to take him home and to contact the regional Ombudsman for long term care.    I hope that I can get them to reconsider the discharge.

M1

dhy:  absolutley i agree that you should not take him home.  If he needs to be readmitted to the hospital, so be it.  Hospice?  He needs hospice.  He still may not survive this.

ladyzetta

I agree do not take him home this is not a safe situation for either of you. They will find him a place. Take care of yourself.

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White Crane

As others have said, don't bring him home.  I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.

dhyink

I got a stay on the discharge.   He could still be discharged if he doesn't improve (this is short term rehab).   Yesterday we saw some big improvements.  He stood up, took several steps, and actively participated in the rehab efforts.  He recognizes me and recognized friends on the phone.   I'm heading out to see him in a few minutes.  I am bringing him some things from home to bring him some comfort.

Ed1937

That's fantastic! And it's a big win. It looks like things are going in the right direction for you. I hope it continues.

ghphotog

So difficult for you. I agree, there is no way you can care for him by yourself. It's very sad so many of us are by ourselves without much help. I can only imagine how hard this for a woman to be caring for a grown man in that state of mind.