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Confused and guilty

Klako
Klako Member Posts: 41
Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
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in I Am a Caregiver (General Topics)
I have posted before about my dad. I am trying to care for him after my sister passed away 4 months ago that lived with him. I struggle with MC placement because I am now an only child and mom is gone too. I know he shouldn’t be alone but does ok. My plan is that I am researching visiting MC facilities. My dad fell last night. We came and got him up and appears to be status quo today. Refused to go to ER as he said he was fine. Today spirits are good, no complaints of pain. I feel guilty for leaving him alone but now faced with having to be here 24/7 or even nightly if I get some kind of home care for working until I can get MC set up I am completely overwhelmed. Being able to go home to my husband at night was my break. Just struggling today and feel trapped which makes me feel even more guilty.

Comments

  • Arrowhead
    Arrowhead Member Posts: 362
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    DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! You can only do the best you can with what you have. Most of the time you don't have much to work with. You may be trapped for now, but it won't last. You can do this; you're stronger than you realize.
  • Klako
    Klako Member Posts: 41
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member
    Has anyone dealt with the falling issue when you were not physically there and how did you manage?
  • ​fesk
    ​fesk Member Posts: 479
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    Are you able to hire an overnight aide to stay with him?
  • Klako
    Klako Member Posts: 41
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    The problem is there is no bed for that person. I sleep on couch and this would be temporary. Need to get him into MC
  • Marp
    Marp Member Posts: 170
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    Could you have him come "visit" you and your hubby and stay with you until you can find a placement?
  • Klako
    Klako Member Posts: 41
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    Member
    Our house has a lot of stairs and he is not familiar so I would be afraid he would fall down stairs in confusion.
  • Tracyruv
    Tracyruv Member Posts: 2
    First Comment
    Member
    Maybe they’d be ok with a cot until you find a MC facility, would be short term
  • Klako
    Klako Member Posts: 41
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    Maybe they would. It is a phone call I have to make Monday. Just not sure how to explain a strange person staying in his house overnight. Any thoughts?

    I am just tired….and don’t think I can do every night.

  • jfkoc
    jfkoc Member Posts: 3,878
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    Where I live, night duty stays awake. This seems important to me. Please look into it as a solution for now.
  • KMenehan
    KMenehan Member Posts: 2
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Member
    I'm sorry you're experiencing this; it sounds challenging.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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