Lost years--Off topic? Maybe not.

M1

Just feeling reflective.  Just got home from lunch with a work friend---first time in a restaurant, literally, since October 2019 (38 months),  when my partner and I went to her 60th high school reunion.  Tomorrow, going to see the Nutcracker with my daughter and granddaughter--what better way to see it than with a six year old seeing it for the first time?    That will be my first time in a theater of any sort since January 2020 (35 months).

Those three years feel like a black hole.  I worked, I helped our county health department, and I became more and more consumed by caregiving as my partner progressed from early through mid to almost late stage in that time period.  The last eight months of her difficult transition to MC have been mostly chaos and grief.   Now I am alone, functionally single for the first time in forty years (though not really), and need to reinvent myself to stay sane.   A lot to contemplate.

Wouldn't have made it through these last two years (at least) without this forum.

Jgirl57

Enjoy the Nutcracker with the family.

You always give us thoughtful insights 

and things to ponder…

Ed1937

I can relate to a lot of what you said. Have a great time with your daughter and granddaughter at the Nutcracker. She should be wide eyed.

Joydean

M1, so glad you are going with your daughter and granddaughter. I bet you will be watching the expressions on your granddaughters face more than the actors! The amazement of her expression will last a very long time! Best wishes to you.

Jo C.

Dear M1, (((((Hug))))).

J.

Joe C.

M1, Enjoy the day with your daughter & granddaughter as well as the show.

toolbeltexpert

M1 have a great day, may it be refreshing to your soul.

White Crane

M1, you have been through so much these last eight months.  I'm glad you are getting out.  It probably felt strange to be in a restaurant again.  I hope you enjoyed it.  And I hope you enjoy the Nutcracker with your daughter and granddaughter.  What a wonderful treat!

Jarmac

Everything is fresh and new thru the eyes of a 6 year old.

Jo C.

What sweet fun awaits you today!   I can hear the music in my ears; and of all pleasures, to have a child to share with who will be entranced and bring smiles to your heart;  a wonderful treat for sure.

When we took our grandchildren to see, Lion King, I was tickled and delighted to watch their faces - years ago, but still makes me smile to think of it.

Good wishes for a really good day and maybe even some ice cream afterward?

J.

Beachfan

M1,

 I hope you have a great outing today.  I am partial to hanging out with grandkids these days.  Things are so uncomplicated and easy in their world; it transfers.  

I have a full calendar of basketball games (3 grands, 3 levels), piano recitals (3 other grands, 3 levels), holiday choral and band concerts, all manner of spectator activities to take my mind off missing DH.  (Thankfully, there is no Nutcracker scheduled; I’ve sat through at least 5 of those over the years).  

You deserve a break!  Enjoy.  

M1

It was just about perfect.   Granddaughter entranced and entrancing in a glittery red dress that left sparkles all over my trousers.  But I'm sitting here crying, with that beautiful theme of the second act pas de deux running through my head.  I so, so wish my partner were here to share it with us.  Healing and painful simultaneously.  Life must go on, but mine will never be the same.  I'm grateful to have had what I I've had, though, and I am blessed with two wonderful children and now these two granddaughters.  I can't complain, at all.

Ed1937

M1, I'm sure it was bittersweet, and I'm sure you miss your partner. But I'm glad you had sparkles all over you. That will help you remember the good part of the day. Little kids have a way of making things better. I wish we all had our LOs back.

Cherjer

M1...so happy you had an enjoyable day with your daughter and grand-daughter. It is wonderful to hear that you have your children and grand-children in your life. You are blessed in many ways.

toolbeltexpert

I am glad you had a good time. Bitter sweet though it may be, you truly are blessed.

Jo C.

Grandchildren are the glitter in life; all shiny, bright, sparkly and oh so huggable.  So; she left you with some glitter on your clothing - perhaps she may even have shared some of it from the Sugar Plum Fairy as the Fairy danced across the stage with the handsome Prince.  You may possibly even find tiny bits of sparkle in the car and perhaps even some in the house.  If so, it will be a smile remembering your little one each time you might see any of the tiny shiny bits.

Yes; that music with the pas de deaux is heartfelt beautiful and can fill one up with feelings in the heart.  It can also raise emotions that bring us the feeling of loss for what once was that can never be again; there are not words sufficient to decribe; it can only be felt and I am truly deeply sorry.

Imagine all of the music inside Tchaikovsky's head for all that he wrote during his life for us to be able to hear.   Wonderful gift that goes on and on.

Did your granddaughter stay interested in the entire Nutcracker Suite?  Sometimes it gets a little tiring for a young child.  Now that she has seen the beautiful ballerina in her tutu and en pointe in her satin slippers, she may still be thinking of all she saw and heard.  Do you know if she has one of those children's jewelry boxes that when the lid opens, a tiny ballerina pops up and twirls as twinkling music plays?  If she does not have one, that may be a gift that would delight her.

From one grandparent to another, what a joy to have them,

J.