How to take over finances?

Jory

Sadly my husband has become incapable of managing finances. Just this week he took one of my checks, wrote it out for $1000. and signed it, but left the name blank. Then he put it a neighbor's door. A few days later his wife came to my door and gave it back to me. Mike believes this neighbor Scott, speaks to him and has been in our house many times even though they have never met.

Then yesterday he told me that a few days ago he went to his Credit Union and took out a loan for $5200. He took the cash and put it in a Dunkin Donuts bag, then left it outside the fence in our back yard. He said he looked for it later but "they" took it.

He agrees that I should take over finances and I do have a Power of Attorney. I understand that if I have a letter from his doctor stating that with his dementia, he no longer has the cognitive ability to handle any financial maters. Your earliest attention is greatly appreciated.

 Jory:

Any suggestions?

Ed1937

Is your name on the account(s)? If so, close them out, then have a new account opened in your name only. Did he actually take out a loan? If not, you need to contact any place where he might try to get a loan, and explain  that he has dementia, might try to obtain a loan, and is not capable to make a financially contracted decision. Also write a letter to any place like that, and keep a copy. You also need to take away any credit or debit cards. If you can, replace them with cards that are no longer good. It is important to get a handle on this. Do whatever you have to do. We have one member whose father lost over $300,000.00.

I'm not sure how this works, but it sounds like you should get in touch with the three major credit bureaus to let them know he is not capable. Maybe they will make a note on his record. Explain that he is likely to try to get a loan.

Beauchene105

I've been doing this for years for my mom. Here are my suggestions to make it easier. Use the ones that will work for you.

Make sure your name is on ALL his accounts-banks, credit cards, etc. and on personal checks.

Get an ATM card for each bank.

Put as many regularly occurring expenses on direct deposit as possible.

Make use of online payment methods (bank bill pay, Venmo, etc.)

Be aware of property taxes and when/where due.

Pay someone to do income taxes (unless this is easy to do for you). 

BassetHoundAnn

My mom's bank told me that so long as she shows up with a picture I.D. (driver's license, state i.d., etc.) they would allow her to do anything she wants if she showed up at a branch, including withdrawing all her money, taking out loans, applying for credit cards, etc. Regardless of whether I asked to include a note on her accounts saying that she was mentally incompetent and they should call me if she showed up at a branch. So I removed all picture I.D.'s from her wallet. In their place I gave her an I.D. card that said if she presented the card to anyone they should call me or my husband. 

Yes, take his name off as many accounts as you can. Close the credit cards with his name on them. In their place open credit cards with your name as the primary name.  And then freeze his credit reports with the 3 major credit bureaus. 

You should also consult a local eldercare attorney. If there comes a point at which you need to place him in a memory care you want your share of your marital assets protected should he need to apply for Medicaid and veteran's benefits at a later date. A local attorney with experience in eldercare will help you get your ducks in order. 

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May flowers

Sorry you are going through this! Finances were one of the first things we had to take over for my FIL, followed soon after with driving. Because they both require good judgement.

In our case, we stopped paper bills and had everything come to us so we could pay out of his account online. The out of sight out of mind helped a lot in our case. We kept all his checks, credit and debit cards here but when we took him shopping, DH handed him the card to pay. If he lived here at that time, we would have locked everything in the filing cabinet.

If he asked, we would print off thr bank statement and monthly list of bills that had been paid. He eventually stopped asking.