I'm new here(7)

Dizzy lizzy

Hi Everyone.  Here's my story.  My DH was diagnosed with Alzheimer's about 5 years ago.  We are in the late middle stages.  He also has a bunch of comorbidities, including insulin dependent diabetes, kidney failure, hypertension and all the others that go with them.  I am his soul caregiver and have been for ever it seems.  He is incontinent, unable to bathe or dress himself, unable to take his medications without assistance (including insulin injections) and is now starting to have skin breakdown related to the diabetes or kidney failure.  He is ambulatory, but barely.  Will not use his walker.  He has falls regularly.  

I'm about at the end of my rope.  On the plus side, he is generally sweet natured, and does not wander. I love him so much.  It hurts me every day to see him going away.  I feel that I am very close to having to place him  in skilled nursing.  I have put things in order with an elder lawyer, and have accepted the fact that my financial situation wil lhave to change.  

I struggle with the emotions every day.  I feel like no matter how much I try to do it isn't enough.  I'm sure all of you guys feel the same way.  It's nice mohave support. I do attend a local support group that meets once a month, but I've missed the last two meetings due to illness of my own.  Yeah, this caregiving is taking a toll on me. I have a lovely family but they don't really help me very much.

Anyway. Here I am.  Look forward to interacting with anybody who would like to.  My mom used to  call me Frisbee before the frisbee was invented so that's the name I have chosen.   I have a German Shepard dog and two cats who give me strength.

Ed1937

Hi Lizzy. Welcome to the forum. Sorry you are dealing with this too. Yes, it's really a hard row to hoe, this dementia. I hope you feel better soon.

The good news is that you're on an excellent forum. People here actually care for one another, You'll get a lot of support and empathy here. And of course you can share your wisdom, and ask for suggestions from others. Stay active on the site, and you won't be sorry.

ghphotog

There's always more rope at the end so hang in there.
I think, for me, dealing with my emotions can be one of the hardest aspects of caregiving.

If there was only a drug or substance that would make feel "happy" all day long, while keeping a clear mind, this trip would be a lot easier for me and my DW as well.
I've even asked my doc about it.

Pat6177

Welcome Lizzy. My DH isn’t as far along as yours so I can only imagine what you are going through. I know it is exhausting and discouraging at times. Have you considered hospice yet? If your DH qualifies, he can have hospice care either at your home or in a facility. Many people on this forum have found the support from the nurse and nursing aides and others on the hospice team to be very helpful. It doesn’t cost anything to have a hospice agency come out and evaluate him. I can’t tell from what you have posted how sick your DH is but if he does qualify, it would be help for you.

TGetch

I've recently been wondering how far along our loved ones have to be for Hospice to be an option. I know my husband isn't there yet. But when he is, I'll definitely have to move into something bigger, or go back to our home in Utah. Right now we are in a 2 bedroom trailer on my daughters property. We did this to be closer to her and her family for help.

TGetch

Oh dear, now I feel fortunate that my husbands health is otherwise good. Just the early onset Alzheimer's. At the same time, Dementia, Depression (that was a surprise) and Anxiety (not a surprise). That was 10 years ago, so he is a little further along than your spouse. Making me start to wonder about our future a lot more now.

Joe C.

Lizzie, Welcome but sorry you needed to seek out our community. There are great people here with much experience they will freely share.

Davegrant

Lizzy/Frisbee, welcome to the forum. I too struggle with emotions and my dw seems like she has two personalities; one when we are alone and another when others are present. It keeps me in a state of confusion. This caregiving is a huge challenge so I sign in this message board everyday before she gets up to prepare for the day ahead of repitition, shadowing and suspicion. 

Dave

Marie58

Welcome Lizzy and TGetch. This forum is a great place to learn, share, vent and ask any question you have. It's a very supportive group who knows more than anyone else because we are the ones in the trenches.