Wanting to die?

Pam My

How do you all respond when your LO says she just wants to die?  I know to attend to the feeling of being overwhelmed - I tell her I understand she feels that bad.  She feels useless and a burden.  We make sure to include her in cooking and cleaning with tasks she can do.  I understand that it's the depression speaking, but she struggles and struggles to find the positive, and yes she is on an antidepressant.

mawsoos

My Dad has started saying that as well. We first try to tell him we understand, and validate his feelings. Then try to distract him with something he enjoys. He loves his souvenirs from traveling, so we'll start talking to him about all the wonderful things he's done, and places he has visited, and he seems to perk up.

Jgirl57

This is something their doctor needs to know and

Perhaps medication if they are not already taking something.

Zoloft is helping my Husband with depression/anxiety 

and will take whatever medicines will help as he progresses with the disease .

M1

This one is so tough Pam.  My partner used to tell me all the time, "just take me out back and shoot me."   Halfway meant it, but only halfway; we've both dealt with suicidal people in the past and know it's no joking matter.  She always promised me, when sane, that she would never do that to me, and in fact I never saw her truly suicidal, ever.  Right before I had to put her in MC we watched a movie about a woman who moved to assisted living (my mistake, I didn't know what it was about) and she again said, "I'd rather be shot than live in a place like that."  Famous last words.  I don't think she remembers that now, because she doesn't really realize what kind of place she's living in.   She likes some of the staff, but she's ready to leave every day and plans to move to Texas.  As soon as she gets her truck.

Antidepressants can help, but I think sometimes it's not unreasonable to actually "grasp the nettle" and talk with her about quality of life if she can.  This is the difficult talk that a lot of docs/healthcare providers /family members are reluctant to have with their very ill or dying patients or loved ones, but sometimes talking about it can actually help.  

I think I'm rambling.  But I certainly empathize and know how hard it is to hear those things and not be able to do much about it.