This may be near the end

Judi57

As I've mentioned before, my husband is bedbound and home with me.   I think his journey is about over.   I'm not sure.

He is no longer eating even though I offer, but don't force.  He sleeps/rests a lot.  He is losing his voice.  Only urinating once or twice a day.  No longer wants to sit up in bed.   Sometimes doesn't talk at all.  He has this white junky stuff in his mouth that I use a mouth swab to remove.  (Although he tries to bite it).  Not drinking, but giving him drops of water.   He's just not interested.  Moving him is painful.  

Luckily, when his voice is strong enough, he still says "I love you."   And he can smile at me and throw a kiss.  

I can't imagine being without him.

toolbeltexpert

I am so sorry Judy, I am glad you have him home and I hope it's been working out. You sound like your doing a wonderful job for dh,  I wish I could tell you it will get better, but living without your spouse is undoubtedly hard. Sending you hugs that lift you up and that feel like they heal.

Stewart

dayn2nite2

The white stuff in his mouth isn't thrush, is it?  If it is, please call hospice - they can give him something to help.  Thrush can cause him to have difficulty eating/drinking.

MaryG123

That has to be so hard for you Judi57.  I’m sorry.

Ed1937

Judi, I'm so sorry. Please contact a hospice agency for an evaluation. If he is accepted, they will be very helpful for both of you. Being in hospice does not mean the end is near. Some people have been on hospice for 2 years or more. They will provide just about anything you need, including a hospital bed if necessary. No charge for it.

ImMaggieMae

Judi, prayers for you and your dear husband. As the others have mentioned Hospice might be very helpful at this time if they aren’t already involved. You’re doing such a wonderful job of caring for him. You could probably use some support now.

Judi57

Update:    Yes, he is on hospice already.  We've been involved with them since October 28.  The weekend nurse came to the house yesterday evening and looked at him and did an evaluation.  She said that with all that is going on, that her estimate would be 1-2 weeks until he passes away.   

All of this is overwhelming.   Selfishly, I don't want to lose him, but it's the "him" I married I don't want to lose.   I don't always like the way he acts, but I still love the dementia "him."  The him whose eyes sparkle when he sees me, the him who says "hi hon" and the him who would still throw me kisses.  

With no children, and his family who is distant, this will be my grief that I will have to bear alone.  I know I will cry about stupid things as I'm doing now, but my soulmate will be gone,  My only friend, my protector, my one true love.

As people have said, with dementia you grieve the entire process...when you discover your loved one has it and finally when he or she is gone.

May God give me the strength to make it through this.

Mint

I’m so sorry Judi.  It is so very hard losing those who cared for and loved us.

toolbeltexpert

Judi you said something about your dh that reminded me of something my dw said the other day. She was crying and looking for her protector. Judi you are his protector and doing an a great job. It's hard for a pwd to express much but the kisses mean so much. I love you means so much.

My prayers continue for you and everyone here.

Joydean

Judi sending my prayers for you also. So happy for you that he can still tell you he loves you! That’s what you need to hang onto and get strength from. God bless you and your husband!  This road we are all on is so very hard! 

Battlebuddy

So sorry you are at this point. So much of what you said was full of your love for him. What a blessing to still get those kisses . Lean on Hospice for these last few weeks. 

We will be holding you up in prayer . We are walking along side you. Stay strong! 

ladyzetta

Judi.    We are with you you're in our prayers and God will give you the strength you need. Hospice may offer you grief support when your DH has passed. Hospice offered that to me. You will not be alone; we are also here for you. Hugs Zetta

Marie58

Judi, I'm so sorry. I'm glad hospice is there for both of you.

Did the nurse say what the white stuff is in his mouth. I've noticed that several times recently with my DH. I assumed it was unswallowed meds that they crush and stir into applesauce for him, but I've never been sure.

May the Lord bless you with the strength you need at this time and for the peace that passes understanding.

Judi57

Marie58 wrote

Did the nurse say what the white stuff is in his mouth. I've noticed that several times recently with my DH.

For him, it is the different secretions from his throat and sinuses.  Some mucous there too.  It's awful looking.   

He did get a white funky tongue every now and then from the medicine.  He would hold the meds in his mouth too long before swallowing. 

Thank you for the blessing.