Neuro visit tomorrow, what to expect?

ghphotog

My DW's neuro visit is tomorrow and up until now I haven't been worried on how I'm going to present it to her. She is basically blissfully unaware of her condition and has been in denial from the start. She refused to be tested in the early days. I took her to our primary and they ran a preliminary test and referred her to Neuro. She didn't want to go and obsessed over the referral notice until I promised her she didn't have to go if she didn't want to. It's two years later but now we really need to have her checked and little does she know, that's tomorrow!

Once she realizes this is not one of our normal doctors she will ask why we are here.
My only response I can think of is "We're just here for a check up". I'm sure she will inquire further and I'll have to be honest that it's about her memory. 
Most likely I'll just have to be upfront and let the chips fall where they may. Maybe that's the best way instead of trying dance around the 800lb gorilla in the room. I'm tired of always dancing around the subject with her anyways.

I don't know what to expect from the Neurologist. Will they be discreet around her when it comes to certain words like "dementia", "Alzhiemer's"? Will they just speak openly with both of us in the room? I'm hoping they will be discreet and speak with me in private but I doubt it.
What kind of testing will they do the first day? etc?

Belldream

Our neurologist has danced around the word Alzheimers, and instead eludes to some memory issues when we are both in the room. He has done simple things such as "count down from 100 to 1" or "name the months of the year backwards" etc. Each time it gets worse. But earlier on, when I asked that he test my DH, we went for blood work and a brain scan, which confirmed it, but he hasn't come out and said to DH that "you have Alzheimers". 

It helped that I wrote him a long note outlining the symptoms and changes that I have witnessed over time, so we've been able to talk privately regarding the diagnosis.

I hope your neurologist is discreet, or at least asks you how you think the topic should be approached. Maybe it would help if you wrote a note and brought it in for the doctor to read before he comes in the room?

Vitruvius

My DW was seen by three neurologists due to her rare dementia type.  Each spoke to me separately after they had seen my wife. They were each fairly discreet about their assessment but they needed to ask specific questions that made it obvious to me that they were assessing cognitive impairment, but my DW did not pick up on this.

I too have given the neurologists written info in advance as well. Each agreed to a phone or zoom call later to discuss my DW's condition privately. 

I have to say that my DW seems to be an outlier in her oblivion. I was concerned because the door to the first neurology assessment had a big sign that said "Alzheimer's Research Center". I was sure my DW would react negatively and even refuse to go in. But she didn't even notice, nor did she ever comment about the nature of the visit afterwards. One of the specialist even asked if DW thought her thinking was better now than in years past. DW responded resoundingly that her cognition was better now.

The first visit prompted follow up visits and tests, including an MRI and then a PET scan which were deemed necessary to confirm her unusual dementia. DW went to each of these without issue. But I never said anything other than that these were routine medical visits to make sure there was nothing wrong with us, and I was going to have them as well. 

ghphotog

Thanks! Those things are encouraging. I'll make a list.

Iris L.

These persons with dementia have anosognosia.   They are unaware.  It is a real feature.

Iris

Ed1937

You could tell her that Medicare requires people over a certain age to have these visits. Explain that you already had yours done, and you think it's a bunch of BS that it is required. Just rant about it. If she doesn't make the visit, she'll lose Medicare. Slipping a note to the doctor works very well. He/she should be made aware of how you are selling the idea to DW. You might also ask him/her that if there is a diagnosis, please give it to you privately. They will probably respect your wishes. My wife never knew she had dementia.

There may not be any testing on the first day, unless maybe blood draws. Other testing likely needs to have an appointment specifically for the test. They will try to rule out any other possible causes of the symptoms.

Jgirl57

I told my HWD that his primary doctor set up the 

appt . He didn’t question it too much but he did frown a

lot.The first couple of appts can be tricky and writing notes to 

nurses helped us. Good luck and my advice is for you to just

breathe and don’t discuss the appointment too much afterwards.