Shocked out of ambiguous denial perhaps

storycrafter

Stunned. I'm just... stunned. I guess this is how it goes. He's more declined than I realized. Wish I could call someone. But it's probably just as well it's the middle of the night. I doubt I'm coherent; need time to sort out what happened tonight. Helps just knowing you're here. Thanks....

Mint

Thinking of you

M1

tell us when you can--be sure you yourself are safe.  Always hard when this happens.....you are providing scaffolding that is keeping him afloat/upright/whatever the metaphor.

MaryG123

Hugs to you Storycrafter (())

toolbeltexpert

Storycraft I would say call but I get up around 3 to put wood in the stove. We are here for you.

Ed1937

It sounds like you're having a really hard time. I'm sorry, but remember that we're here to prop you up when you're about to fall. Let us know what's going on. We care, and we "get it"!

Jgirl57

I learn from each and every one of you. Thank you

for your brave posts . Stunned is a word I’ve used a lot 

when discussing what I am going through. I pray  

for your continued strength .

riajean

Dear friend.  Writing you as a spouse with a husband now in the end stages, bedbound.  I, too, was shocked to learn my husband was more declined than I thought when I placed him (went through hell making that decision - thought I'd die from guilt) August, 2021. He was apparently hiding the worst of it or I was ignoring it, but knew in my heart I couldn't help him at home any longer.

He seemed to decline dramatically within months of placing him, then in September, the facility had a Covid issue and he was the last to catch it, killing forever his ability to walk. He'd also lost 30 lbs in ONE month that seemed to go unnoticed by the MC staff to my shock and horror.  Now after not being able to deal with PT that was recommended to see if he could regain any strength, he's bedbound and I've learned only recently that his diet is mostly soft foods due to difficulty swallowing.

My biggest fear is that I won't be there when he does die, so everytime I say goodbye after visiting, I look at him as though this is the last time.  Don't know what else to do.  It's been over 8 years since diagnosis of MCI and I've watched it all, done everything I could and am still an emotional mess.  I'm so sorry you're on this board with all of us, yet happy you've found this vehicle to vent.  Please vent all you want as we all know all too well this story and you should feel as though you have friends - standing by your side.

Please also look into palliative care and/or hospice as you CAN call them 24/7 and someone calls back.  It's wonderful to have these people to turn to.   They've been such a comfort.  Thinking of you, sending support in any way I can.